What is Self-Care, Anyway? Posted on May 18, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Self-care has been getting more press lately, but it still might sound confusing. The definition of self-care, according to Christine Meinecke, Ph.D, is “choosing behaviors that balance the effects of emotional and physical stressors.” Self-care is important for everyone, and a pre-requisite for connecting in a meaningful way. If you are a healer of any kind (mothering, fathering, teaching and caregiving definitely count!) it is important to be more purposeful about your own self-care, especially if you feel you lack the time. Self-care is the first step to standing your sacred ground, and creating better, more empowered connections in – and outside of – your work. Here are 4 helpful areas to keep in mind when adding a self-care routine into your life: 1) Write down 5 reasons to care for YOU, EVEN WHEN _______________. In other words, what makes YOU unique, helpful, inspiring? When you are at your best, in your “zone” what do you look like? These will be great reminders for why self-care rituals & breaks are important; even when ________ (meetings, state tests, playoffs, deadlines, etc…) 2) Begin to pay attention to when you need more self-care, and what those signs are. What do you look like, sound like, feel like when you need more self-care (this is your “shadow self”; the traits you might hate to admit you have, but that are there -just simply part of being a human!). 3) Find your team. It is important to know who is in your inner circle, who you can count on to be on your self-care team. Whether they are family or friends, these are YOUR people, who you can count on when you are stuck. Aim for at least 3-5, and write their phone numbers down too. 4) Try lots of different types of self-care, and find what works best for you. When you find things that work well, make a note of what they are- and ideally, schedule them in your calendar! Want ideas? Here are several healthy self-care options: Eating healthfully Box Breathing Exercise Getting enough sleep Acknowledging our needs Setting healthy boundaries Making a plan for a goal Grounding yourself in the present moment Connecting with others Listening to uplifting music Laughing Playing games with friends Saying no to extra requests Counseling Understanding needs you might have at work, and how to create rituals in your day to meet those needs Leaving work at work Spending time outside Scheduling the week ahead on Sunday mornings Reading for fun Gardening Dancing Watching a funny movie with a friend Singing Cooking Baking Joining a support group Taking a trip/vacation Getting a massage Watching a sunset Playing an instrument Meditation & prayer Petting an animal Lighting candles Smiling Assess your SUDS Do your chores (yes, really!) Keeping letters & notes from former bosses or employees to remind you of your strengths Thanks for reading! -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Your brain & exercise Posted on November 14, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB I’ve always known that exercise is important, but I recently read through The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb, PhD and was happy to find even more research support for it. The Upward Spiral discusses using neuroscience to reverse the course of depression, one small change at a time – with one of those being exercise. I want to clarify that “exercise” doesn’t have to mean working out like Rocky every day of the week. It simply means MOVING YOUR BODY. This can include throwing a baseball in the backyard, taking your dog for a walk, dancing to music in your kitchen, chasing your toddler into the next room, or even cleaning the house! As always, I encourage you to start where you are and focus on your progress. Maybe when you begin, you are very tired, and the dishes are your exercise. Put on some music, and let yourself move a little extra. The next day, maybe you feel better after the dishes are done, and continue dancing – or take a walk around the block. Start small, but be consistent! Some type of movement every day helps! Alex Korb said in The Upward Spiral that “your brain does not like being idle; it comes with a body, and it wants to use it.” Here are 5 great (brain researched) reasons to get out and run, walk, or dance – listed in his book. The Natural Antidepressant. “Exercise is possibly the most straightforward and powerful way to start an upward spiral. Not only is it easy to understand, but exercise also has many of the same effects on the brain as antidepressant medications and even mimics the buzz of recreational drugs. Yet exercise is natural, it causes more nuanced and targeted brain changes, and its benefits can exceed even those of medication.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Better sleep. “Depression often messes up your sleep patterns, but exercise improves your sleep, making it more restorative for your brain.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. A Stronger Brain. Exercise increases nerve growth factors, such as brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which are like steroids for your brain. BDNF makes your brain stronger, so it’s more resistant to all kinds of problems, not just depression.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Better Concentration “Exercise increases norepinephrine” which helps increase concentration and deep thinking. -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Motivation and Better Decision Making “The orbitofrontal cortex influences motivation and decision making. The dorsolateral prefrontal cortex helps with planning and thinking. The insula modulates pain perception. And the anterior cingulate guides your focus. Amazingly, endorphin signaling in all of these areas is improved by exercise.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. To really boost the effects of exercise, try one of the following: Be purposeful. Make a specific goal for how you want to move- and stick to it. Better yet – make it a “SMART” goal; specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. In addition, PLAN for obstacles. What is the most likely obstacle to this goal? Make a plan for what you when that obstacle happens AHEAD of time, so you don’t have to think about it in the moment. There are always obstacles in life, so planning for them ahead of time can feel very empowering and energizing. Get out! Instead of going to a gym, choose a local trail or park to run or walk in. Even if there’s not a pretty view where you run, just running outside has more mood-boosting benefits than the gym or treadmill. Team Up. This is probably the most important piece! Join a supportive exercise group or gym, partner with a personal trainer, or ask a friend to commit to your exercise plan with you. This helps you stick to your goal – and the socialization also improves your brain’s health. “Humans are a social species- we evolved to survive with each other, and our brains are healthiest when we interact with and feel connected to others” -Alex Korb, PhD., The Upward Spiral Add music. Make a playlist of positive songs that you can listen to during exercise. “Music engages most of the limbic system, including the hippocampus, anterior cingulate, and nucleus accumbens, which is why it can be motivating and can help regulate your emotions. It can also be soothing, lowering blood pressure and reducing stress.” Alex Korb, Ph.D, The Upward Spiral Say thank you! Make a practice of being grateful for your body’s ability to move- and practice saying it every time you move! I hope this has inspired you to get out there and move! If you would like to learn more about the brain and how it is affected by depression and anxiety, please read The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb, Ph.D. -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Confronting the Elephant Posted on March 5, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Confronting the Elephant: Attending to your past traumas”The single most important thing that we need today is the courage to look this problem in the face and say, this is real and this is all of us.” -Nadine Burke Harris Suck it up. Stop making excuses. People mean well, but if you have had trauma in your life, these words can be confusing – or harmful to your recovery. And everyone: no matter their socioeconomics, race, sexual orientation or gender, has either experienced a trauma – or knows someone who has. If you have never heard of the ACE study, you are not alone. It does not get much attention, but is important – so much so that pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris designs her healthcare practice, the Center for Youth Wellness, on its principles. ACE stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences and the research conducted by Dr. Vince Felitti at Kaiser and Dr. Bob Anda at the CDC investigates how childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime. You see, it is easy to tell your doctor you have a sore throat, or a broken arm. You have a problem, they have a solution. It is harder to tell your doctor that your mom drinks too much, and is verbally or physically abusive when she does, or that your dad hits your mom. There are only 1o questions on the test, and almost everyone scores at least a 1, but the closer you score to 10, the more likely you are to suffer health consequences … even if you do not turn to drinking, drugging, or risky behaviors as a result of the trauma. Sometimes, we can suffer trauma without psychological or physical backlash. We can understand it and keep a healthy self-concept and move on without help. But sometimes, when we try to “suck it up” – to ignore or push away a traumatic experience, the impact on our mental health and susceptibility to stress-related medical problems actually increases. The elephant gets bigger. The silver lining is that if you take the time to acknowledge your past, you can decrease the effects of it. Answering the questions, and seeking help from a Licensed Professional Counselor or mental health professional can help you to gain an understanding of your past, how it can trigger your stress hormones, understand your needs, and how to use your individual strengths to reduce the trauma’s effect on your decision making and overall health. Confronting this elephant can confront the source- and allow you to heal. Like healing a broken bone, healing the impact of trauma does not happen overnight. It takes time, energy, commitment and strength. However, for many people, the positive changes in relationships, self-esteem, and overall well-being are worth the time and effort. If you are one of the rare people who score a 0 on the test, you can still be involved. You can start a dialogue, and voice the importance of counseling and mental health care so that more people know where to find care- and feel comfortable asking for it. -Gillian Below is the TED talk by Nadine Burke Harris on the subject, and a link to the ACE study. TED video of Nadine Burke Harris: Link to ACE Study: http://www.acestudy.org/yahoo_site_admin/assets/docs/ACE_Calculator-English.127143712.pdf *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Aspire Academy Posted on November 27, 2014January 12, 2019 by AspireNB Empowering healers to lead purposeful & balanced lives. Continuing education group series for Professional Counselors, Social Workers, Marriage & Family Therapists and Interns Learn new self-care strategies for your clients through experiential exercises CEU’s offered for LPC, LMFT, and LCSW Put your own oxygen mask on first and lead by example! While our families, clients and communities really need us to put ourselves first, we are often the last “task” on our to-do lists. Taking time in a purposeful way empowers you to set & achieve meaningful goals. By learning how to better care for yourself, you gain energy to provide a healthy environment for yourself, your family, the teams you lead, and your community. This group is for all healing professionals, whether you have many years of experience in your field, or are an intern transitioning from school to professional life. The Academy will be a purposeful & safe space to assess personal strengths, gain support from like-minded professionals, and create meaningful goals. In addition, you will learn or practice CEU’s related to… Defining work-life balance Accepting support & requesting feedback from your peers Self-care skills Meditation & relaxation exercises Healthy communication strategies Boundary setting Articulating & fulfilling individual needs Feeling more empowered in your life This group session will meet on Wednesday evenings, once a month for 6 months. Our next group begins in February 2019 and will run from February 2019-July 2019. Fee is $65/session ($390 for all 6 sessions) Please call to reserve your spot and/or ask questions In summary, this group is for you if… You want change or challenge Your want guidance in building a heart-led career You are a healer/helper who wants more balance & clarity You are busy, overwhelmed, or overstressed You want a safe & supportive professional group To sign up or ask more questions, please contact Gillian in the following ways: Phone: 512-501-2597 Email: amaro@aspireNB.com