Tag: self-criticism

“When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection.

When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable.

If we dismiss all the criticism, we lose out on important feedback,

but if we subject ourselves to the hatefulness, our spirits get crushed.

It’s a tightrope, shame resilience is the balance bar, and the safety net below is the one or two people in our lives who can help us reality-check the criticism and cynicism.”

– Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW

 

I am worthy.

I am worthy of change, of hoping for more.

I am worthy even though ______________ told me I wasn’t.

What would it take for you to feel worthy? Empowered? Content with who you are, right now?

It is easy to fall prey to anxiety or shame and let it dictate your life’s course.  Maybe you think you are unworthy because you are “supposed” to be farther along in life, or because you have made mistakes in your past. Sometimes you feel unworthy because you suffered trauma, abuse, or just because you are not ______ enough, whatever that may be.

If you notice yourself being overly critical, (using the words “always”, “never” or “should” can often be an indication of this) try to take a step back to rephrase.  For example, instead of “I can never get it right!” saying:

“This feels overwhelming right now, and I can’t do it all.

What I can do is ________”.

Another way to take care of yourself is to connect with others in a genuine way. Find someone to talk to who will want to learn about the ways you are unique instead of judging you for your differences.   Start where you are, be kind to yourself, and work at your own pace. As the saying goes the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today.

Instead of helping us “toughen up” and succeed, being critical of ourselves is often our biggest downfall. We gradually shut down, decreasing our ability to be creative, productive, and successful – to dull the very light within us that others may need to see. The very light that propels us to change and grow. Real life is full of maybes, grey areas and unanswered questions. If we can’t believe and trust in ourselves, it will be difficult to achieve our goals, connect with others, and feel content.

We are here today to try again- and what a beautiful beginning.

-Gillian

If you are hoping to make a change in your life, or would just like more information on counseling in general, please call 512-501-2597. You may schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to ask questions, gain a better understanding of what counseling is like, and decide if it is the right step for you.