The Season for Self-Care Posted on November 10, 2018November 11, 2018 by AspireNB 40 Self-Care ideas to help you through the holidays ‘Tis the season… for self-care! Holidays can be stressful even when you are excited about all of the festivities, so it should come as no surprise that if you are going through any type of difficulty or crisis, the holiday season will likely be complicated. Many people are struggling with hidden grief, illness, depression, anxiety, financial difficulties, or just increased stress in general. It is normal to feel sad or angry about memories related to the holidays, or to feel triggered by familiar routines, songs, and gatherings that you “should” be enjoying. You might notice tension, dread, or even feel numb, as if you are operating on autopilot. It is important not to guilt or shame ourselves about these feelings but rather acknowledge them, and place a higher importance on caring for ourselves, first. Don’t worry- your ability to care for others will return, but balancing your own system takes priority. *** 40 ways to begin caring for yourself this season Check in with your current feelings, and determine what your biggest need is (use the wiseheart worksheet here) Take a walk outside. Stretch or practice yoga. Try a meditation- the Headspace app is a great place to start. Take a photo of something that makes you smile (bonus if you use that picture as your screensaver on your phone or computer). Hug yourself or someone you love for at least 1 minute. Light a candle and breathe deeply. If negative thoughts arise, acknowledge them, then let them go. Make a list of people you can call if you’re having a rough day – or moment. (BONUS: CALL ONE!) LAUGH Listen to a positive playlist, or make one of your own. Read a new book (BONUS: read an uplifting, spiritual, or motivating book) Pet an animal Smile at a stranger Play a fun board game Dance with reckless abandon Set a healthy boundary State a need you have out loud Create a gratitude journal entry Add one healthy ritual into your daily life Sing loudly without caring who hears you Visit a place you have never been to before Garden or get your hands in some dirt Eat a healthy, veggie-rich meal Drink 1/2 your body weight in ounces today (so if you are 120 lbs, drink at least 60 oz of water) Paint, draw, build, color – allow yourself to be creative for at least 5 minutes Organize one area in your living space Find one way to give to others that also brings YOU joy – and do it Watch a comedy Breathe deeply while reciting a prayer or positive mantra Schedule at least 5 minutes of spontaneous play into your day Try one new thing and don’t think about it or plan it too much Ask for help even if its with something small Think about what you’re especially good at, and do it today Take care of a nagging task that keeps getting ignored Curl up with a blanket and drink a cup of hot lemon water or tea Give some purposeful attention to something you usually ignore Cook or bake a favorite meal/treat Watch the sunrise or sunset Write a letter to someone you are thankful for Do nothing and cross this number off just because you deserve it *** This list is meant to help you begin a self-care routine, and I encourage you to start with this list, note which activities refresh you the most, and add more ideas as you go. It is also important to remember that holiday celebrations can be changed in any way we wish them to be; we only need to take time to decide what those changes look like to us, and communicate those with friends and loved ones. In addition, while self-care is a great start, if you have experienced trauma, grief, or are spending much of your time feeling worried or sad, counseling is an important way to filter out what you need most, and gain coping skills for your specific situation. For more information on self-care basics, click here. Want to join me for FREE parent & tot yoga this holiday season? Click here for more details For weekly inspiration & updates, follow Aspire New Braunfels on instagram & facebook. *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to find insight as they balance their bodies, minds & hearts. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and I offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Aspire New Braunfels on Instagram Aspire New Braunfels on Facebook Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today
FREE Parent & Tot Yoga Posted on October 2, 2018 by AspireNB Playfully integrating our minds, bodies & hearts Not sure about starting a yoga class with your little one? Here is a perfect way to try, for free! I will be leading a trial class at the library, once a month, in October, November & December. Parent & Tot Yoga is a 40 minute class for little ones and their families. I have very relaxed expectations for kids (and parents!) in this class and my focus is on having fun while learning! We will integrate many different skills & activities including games, songs, socialization, deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness, parent-child bonding, and of course practicing yoga! Who: Any children 5 & under and their guardian(s) When: First Fridays of October, November & December at 11:30AM Where: New Braunfels Public Library (call to pre-register) Why: Yoga means union, focusing on exercising body & mind at the same time. This class will also create stronger unions between parents & tots! PRE-REGISTRATION IS REQUIRED! Please call the library at 830-221-4300 to register.
Building Boundaries Posted on August 1, 2018December 2, 2018 by AspireNB A supportive group for women interested in setting healthy boundaries. If you are a nurturer, a perfectionist, a workaholic, or a peacemaker, this group may be for you! You might be thinking, I’ve heard that word before. But, what really IS a boundary?! “A boundary is anything that helps to differentiate you from someone else or shows where you begin and end” (Cloud & Townsend, p. 35). In this group, we will explore our personalities, and learn basic boundary skills. This group is part support group, part psycho-education, and part book club. In my experience, most of the women I know have difficulty setting boundaries in one way or another. Together, we will learn what boundaries are, as well as when, where, and how they can happen, and the importance of setting boundaries. We will also explore our own needs and feelings around boundaries, supporting each other along the way. We will use the book “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. Group sessions will follow this book in a purposeful manner, and will also include: Supportive & experiential group activities Accepting support & requesting feedback from your peers Meditation & relaxation exercises Healthy communication strategies SPRING 2019 Schedule: We will begin in February 2019 and end in November 2019. Groups will meet once a month, on Wednesday afternoons Group will meet for 10 months (10 sessions total) We will begin in February 2019 and end in November 2019. The cost is $50 per 2 hour session ($500 for all 10 months) Moms of New Braunfels discount accepted for all new/first-time members. To sign up or ask questions, please contact Gillian Amaro, M.Ed, LPC: 512-501-2597 Still unsure? Here are a few more excerpts from the book, regarding how boundaries affect us: “Each of us has different desires and wants, dreams and wishes, goals and plans, hungers and thirsts- but few of us are satisfied. One reason is that we lack the internal structure that boundaries provide to enable us to define and then take the specific steps necessary to reach our goals.” (p. 48-49) “We need to claim our hearts as our property and work on weaknesses, whether we are weak receiving, or weak giving, love. Doing so will open up life to us.” (p. 49-50) “Feelings, attitudes and beliefs, behaviors, choices, values, limits, talents, thoughts, desires, and love – all of these lie within our boundaries. We therefore need to take responsibility for all of these areas of our souls.”
Empowered Mothering Series Posted on April 26, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Coming Soon! Empowered Mothering Series at the New Braunfels Library *FREE* 2 part workshop series I am thrilled to host an upcoming series at the New Braunfels Library JUST FOR MOMS! As a counselor, wife & mother of 2, I definitely know the importance of self-care! This 2-part series will help you to better understand yourself, acknowledge & reduce your stress, learn new coping skills, and increase healthy communication- with your partner, your family & your children. This is a great opportunity to not only learn skills that will improve your emotional health, but experience & practice them. See below for more information! WHO: Any mother or female guardian of a child – and moms to be! WHAT: Self-care (June) & healthy communication (July) WHERE: New Braunfels Public Library WHEN: One hour sessions on Tuesday, June 5th & Tuesday, July 10th at 6 PM COST: FREE!!! Goals of June workshop (self-care) include: Learn the definition of self-care & at least one sign that you need more of it Learn how to assess your SUDS or “resting stress rate” Learn 3 simple ways to de-stress Experience short, relaxing guided imagery/meditation Name one person who can be part of your future self-care “team” Goals of July workshop (healthy communication) include: Learn how to assess your own feelings & needs authentically Experience what setting a boundary feels like Learn 3 basics of boundary setting Learn new ways to state your needs, without hurting loved ones Experience short, relaxing guided imagery/meditation Part 1: Tuesday, June 5, 2018 at 6PM (self-care) Part 2: Tuesday, July 10, 2018 at 6PM (healthy communication) Both sessions will last one hour. NOTE: Unfortunately, there will not be childcare available for these sessions. If you have any questions, please contact: Gillian Amaro, LPC-S 512-501-2597 amaro@aspireNB.com *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
The Benefits of Joining a Group Posted on February 16, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn’t have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don’t be afraid to fail.” -Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx When we are kids, we are constantly trying new things, asking questions, and excitedly taking in the world just as we see it with no fears of making mistakes or looking silly. Not wasting time thinking about failing, being vulnerable or embarrassed. And then we change. We usually can’t pinpoint the specific moment when we became worried about being vulnerable, we just know that all of a sudden, it begins to steal our energy. After reading Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly, I realized even more so how being vulnerable is a key component in enjoying and getting the most out of your life. Vulnerability is one of the biggest reasons people hesitate to join a group. If you happen to know that change is more likely in a group setting, this probably makes sense to you. The human brain likes to understand, to reflect, to question & be challenged, but humans don’t always like the process of change. In fact, sometimes it is downright uncomfortable! But hey, its better than being bored, right? 😉 If you are just finding me, you may see that I offer several groups. This is in part, because people seem to like them! But mostly, because I believe in them! Personally, I am a member of several counseling, consultation, networking and supervision groups. I even exercise with a group, because it keeps me more consistent, accountable, challenged, and happy! If you are unsure about joining a group, here are a few reasons why groups are beneficial! 1. You realize you are not alone! “Shame needs 3 things to grow exponentially. Secrecy, silence & judgement. The antidote is empathy. Talk to someone you love, reach out to someone you trust, tell your story.” Because anxiety & depression are directly related to shame, keeping our past trauma, regrets and true feelings inside are the very things that will make it more difficult to “show up” every day. Being part of a group means that you will not only get to tell your story, but hear from others, and gain support in knowing you are not alone. 2 . Time to think We all get busy and seldom schedule purposeful time to reflect on our lives. Support groups can provide a designated, safe space to voice your inner thoughts, question what your best self might look like, and challenge yourself in new ways. When I plan group sessions, I always make sure to include individual activities that encourage reflection. As a bonus, you also get constructive feedback, insight, encouragement, and support! 3. Motivation When you are part of a group, you meet several others who hear your goals – and can encourage you to stay motivated to reach them. Many times, the group setting can give more natural encouragement, motivation, and advice than could ever happen in an individual counseling appointment. 4. Coping Skills Learn new coping skills in an environment where it is safe to practice them! The hardest part of learning a new skill is mastery; getting enough practice to truly feel confident in using it. A support group is a great place to practice using those newfound coping skills and boundaries, and getting helpful feedback from your peers. 5. Growth!! Most of my groups are not centered around a specific problem; instead they are centered around growth, so if you have never been to counseling before, or if you don’t feel you need counseling, one of my support groups can definitely be the place for you! Like a personal training group for your physical wellness, a support group can be a place to set personal goals that you have never been able to achieve on your own! Humans are naturally social beings, even if we need time alone to recharge. How can you connect with others differently, challenge yourself in new ways, see things in a new light? Sometimes the biggest reward is in how you feel when you are being vulnerable, even it means failing… failing energetically, creating space for growth & new opportunities! Click here for more information on the groups I offer. -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
5 Steps for Creating Special time with our children Posted on February 1, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “Special time”, or M & M time as I like to call it (mommy & me) is simply a time to connect with your child daily that is different than the rest of the day. With visitors, phone calls, dishes, yard work….. most of us cannot connect with our children all the time! The simplicity & complexity of creating a sacred space for connection & healing is an important component of therapy. Similarly, you might need help in setting up a sacred space for connection with your child. Here are 5 steps to help you begin! 1) Decide how much time you can set aside for M&M time daily. Ideally, this would be 15-20 minutes every day with each child, however this obviously depends on your work demands, family rhythm, and size. The most important thing is that you are present with your child for a guaranteed amount of time daily. Even if you can only commit to 5 minutes daily, having a consistent routine for special time assures your child that they will get important connection every day, just with you. 2) Depending on your child’s age, think about- or talk with your child about- where is most comfortable for them to play and/or talk, and then decide the best time and place for special time. You may find one child wakes up early, and enjoys their special time then, while another needs to check in right after school or after dinner. Ideally, if you have multiple children, this is a time and place where their siblings are asleep, spending time with your spouse, or involved in another activity. 3) Develop some kind of ritual to signify that special time is beginning or ending. This could be a specific time, song, candle, fun yell, “secret sign”, or even lighting of a candle. With smaller children, you will want to set a timer, and give them updates about how much time is left, so that they understand clearly when special time begins and ends. 4) As much as possible, allow your child to talk about or ask you anything they want. If they ask a question that makes you feel uncomfortable, say that you are uncomfortable answering that and offer an alternative (more information on ACT limit setting here). As a parent, please make sure if you do ask questions during special time that they are: A) Open-ended B) Not related to recent arguments or disagreements and C) Your child can “pass” or choose not to answer for any reason 5) There are a few important “rules” for special time: 1. Allow your child to be “in charge” during this time as much as is possible. 2. If they want to do something that is not allowed, use the ACT limit setting strategy and try to keep your voice calm. 3. Setting Limits: Use the ACT limit setting technique described here 4. Phones are off and in another room. 5. Most of the play and/or topics should be introduced by the child. Examples of open ended questions: Can you describe your favorite part of your day today? Can you describe a time when you had trouble in school today? What made you laugh today? Can you tell me about a friend you have, that I don’t know much about? How is our family different from your friends’ families? How are we the same? Some ideas for special time activities might include: play dough legos puzzles painting blocks taking a walk outside cards or board games matchbox cars trains dolls pretend play -kitchen, tools, etc outdoor play/games Please allow yourself to make mistakes as you are trying this out. In time, it will get easier. As this becomes more routine, adding weekly or monthly “dates” with mom and dad are another great way to connect, do something fun, and create memories. Keep connecting! -Gillian For a quick summary of ACT limit setting, please click here For a video on ACT limit setting by Dr. Theresa Kellam please click here If you are hoping to make a change in your life, or would just like more information on counseling in general, please call 512-501-2597. You may schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to ask questions, gain a better understanding of what counseling is like, and decide if it is the right step for you. “Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” -Fred Rogers *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
GOAL Getters Group Posted on January 7, 2018January 7, 2019 by AspireNB Gaining a support team as you take on a new challenge can be crucial to your success. This group will allow you to feel both challenged and supported by your peers in a confidential, calm and safe setting. We will focus on your personal goals, and also identify potential triggers and road blocks, help you prepare for them with custom strategies, discussing fear’s role in your goal achievement, and again, gaining genuine support from other likeminded women. In every group meeting, you can expect supportive and experiential group activities, meditation & relaxation exercises, healthy communication strategies, quiet time for reflection, and support from your peers. This group will meet once a month on Wednesday evenings, beginning in February 2019 and will continue to meet until December 2019. Each group meeting lasts for 2 hours.
Love & Marriage: couples in the first year Posted on September 8, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Love and Marriage: Couples in the first year Do you feel that? She asked as we watched the stars and moon illuminate the sea before us. Tell me you feel it? That longing to not just exist, but to live and to live beautifully? I, with a smile filled with so much truth it could move the clouds, said to her: Of course I feel it. The heart in you, is the heart in me. -Christopher Poindexter Summer.. time for weddings, love, the beach, and relaxing. Then comes September, school, work, the bills…. Especially in the first year of marriage, we all hope for things to be easy, filled only with love, fun, and wonderful times. Maybe you are one of the lucky few where this happens easily but I think most of the time, LIFE happens instead. Life can spark disagreements and stress for couples, and leave both of you questioning what marriage is “supposed” to be like. When my husband and I got married in 2007, we both looked to our families to see what made their marriages successful. We knew that having their advice was a luxury not everyone is privileged to have. At the same time, even their advice was confusing at times … both sides with different marriage styles that were different from our own! The truth is, marriage not only needs love – but hard work … even in the first year! Adding to the list of newlywed stresses are the statistics. We have all seen the numbers broadcast on TV, social media, and the internet that over 50% of marriages now end in divorce. Not a pleasant statistic for newlyweds- or anyone considering marriage or a committed relationship! Many couples feel marriage counseling is the beginning of the end, when in reality, it is crucial to learn and practice healthy communication from the beginning. Pre-marital counseling, early couples counseling or occasional “tune-ups” can help get any marriage started on the right foot- and assess for areas that can be improved before they create more serious problems. I use the Gottman Couples Method when working with couples and feel it gives couples clear strategies to bring healing into their relationship, instead of focusing solely on what’s going wrong. John Gottman has defined the “4 horsemen of the apocalypse” (behaviors that can deteriorate a marriage or relationship and invite breakups) 1. criticism 2. contempt 3. defensiveness 4. stonewalling Over the course of any marriage or relationship, it is highly probable that at least one or two of these horsemen will appear. However, learning how to communicate effectively can prevent them from taking up permanent space in your relationship. I use Gottman’s Couples Method because it has decades of research to support its theories and I have seen it work! If you are recently married, or are thinking about getting engaged, and would like to learn how to prevent arguments or more effectively communicate with your partner, give me a call for a free phone consultation. -Gillian To learn more about John Gottman’s 4 horsemen and their antidotes, watch the clip below: John Gottman’s 4 horsemen video If you would like to read more articles on Gottman’s research, visit his blog here: Gottman Blog *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Combatting Shame for Mental Health Month Posted on May 5, 2015June 28, 2017 by AspireNB May is National Mental Health Awareness Month! Dr. Brene Brown, author of books “I thought it was just me” and “Daring Greatly” always does a fantastic job of discussing shame and resilience. Many times, individuals experience shame as a result of trauma, harsh or unrealistic family values, misunderstandings, identity, body image or even ignorance about mental health or counseling. Just like physical health or physical fitness, mental health is important to practice daily! Most of us can admit we have at one time or another experienced shame. Sometimes, especially if we have multiple shame triggers, it can spiral into depression or other mental health concerns that hinder our ability to achieve our goals and visions for life. In this short video, Dr. Brene Brown describes the 3 best ways to stop a shame spiral. For more information on Dr. Brene Brown and her work on shame and resilience visit: http://brenebrown.com -Gillian Amaro Aspire New Braunfels PLLC 145 Landa Street, New Braunfels TX 78130 512-501-2597
High School Powerhaus Posted on January 24, 2015June 11, 2018 by AspireNB High School Powerhaus: A Supportive group for high school students In high school, there are so many decisions to make, peer pressures to avoid, and family expectations to uphold. If you are a high school student who feels overwhelmed at times from expectations from school, family, friends & activities, this group is for you! Sometimes, it seems no one understands the pressures that high school can bring, except other high school students. This group allows high schoolers to talk, vent, and support each other, taking time away from outside opinions, and learning what you truly like & need in your life. Group goals include: Purposefully choosing decisions for myself & my future Successfully managing school assignments, tasks, & expectations Finding positive ways to cope with stress Balancing activities, family, friends, school & work Increasing positive communication with parents regarding your feelings & needs Boundary setting Goal setting Meditation & Relaxation Exercises Meeting like-minded high school students Accepting support & requesting feedback from HS peers in a safe environment Laughing This group meets once a month on Monday evenings. Cost: $40/session This will be a closed group, meaning that once we begin a series, I will not let anyone new into the group. This allows for higher levels of confidentiality and safety. I keep groups small, with no more than 6 participants per group, so that I can easily attend to each member’s needs. For specific dates & times, questions, or to reserve your space, please contact Gillian Amaro, M.Ed., LPC at 512-501-2597.