Love & Marriage: couples in the first year Posted on September 8, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Love and Marriage: Couples in the first year Do you feel that? She asked as we watched the stars and moon illuminate the sea before us. Tell me you feel it? That longing to not just exist, but to live and to live beautifully? I, with a smile filled with so much truth it could move the clouds, said to her: Of course I feel it. The heart in you, is the heart in me. -Christopher Poindexter Summer.. time for weddings, love, the beach, and relaxing. Then comes September, school, work, the bills…. Especially in the first year of marriage, we all hope for things to be easy, filled only with love, fun, and wonderful times. Maybe you are one of the lucky few where this happens easily but I think most of the time, LIFE happens instead. Life can spark disagreements and stress for couples, and leave both of you questioning what marriage is “supposed” to be like. When my husband and I got married in 2007, we both looked to our families to see what made their marriages successful. We knew that having their advice was a luxury not everyone is privileged to have. At the same time, even their advice was confusing at times … both sides with different marriage styles that were different from our own! The truth is, marriage not only needs love – but hard work … even in the first year! Adding to the list of newlywed stresses are the statistics. We have all seen the numbers broadcast on TV, social media, and the internet that over 50% of marriages now end in divorce. Not a pleasant statistic for newlyweds- or anyone considering marriage or a committed relationship! Many couples feel marriage counseling is the beginning of the end, when in reality, it is crucial to learn and practice healthy communication from the beginning. Pre-marital counseling, early couples counseling or occasional “tune-ups” can help get any marriage started on the right foot- and assess for areas that can be improved before they create more serious problems. I use the Gottman Couples Method when working with couples and feel it gives couples clear strategies to bring healing into their relationship, instead of focusing solely on what’s going wrong. John Gottman has defined the “4 horsemen of the apocalypse” (behaviors that can deteriorate a marriage or relationship and invite breakups) 1. criticism 2. contempt 3. defensiveness 4. stonewalling Over the course of any marriage or relationship, it is highly probable that at least one or two of these horsemen will appear. However, learning how to communicate effectively can prevent them from taking up permanent space in your relationship. I use Gottman’s Couples Method because it has decades of research to support its theories and I have seen it work! If you are recently married, or are thinking about getting engaged, and would like to learn how to prevent arguments or more effectively communicate with your partner, give me a call for a free phone consultation. -Gillian To learn more about John Gottman’s 4 horsemen and their antidotes, watch the clip below: John Gottman’s 4 horsemen video If you would like to read more articles on Gottman’s research, visit his blog here: Gottman Blog *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Beginning Again Posted on August 4, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable. If we dismiss all the criticism, we lose out on important feedback, but if we subject ourselves to the hatefulness, our spirits get crushed. It’s a tightrope, shame resilience is the balance bar, and the safety net below is the one or two people in our lives who can help us reality-check the criticism and cynicism.” – Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW I am worthy. I am worthy of change, of hoping for more. I am worthy even though ______________ told me I wasn’t. What would it take for you to feel worthy? Empowered? Content with who you are, right now? It is easy to fall prey to anxiety or shame and let it dictate your life’s course. Maybe you think you are unworthy because you are “supposed” to be farther along in life, or because you have made mistakes in your past. Sometimes you feel unworthy because you suffered trauma, abuse, or just because you are not ______ enough, whatever that may be. If you notice yourself being overly critical, (using the words “always”, “never” or “should” can often be an indication of this) try to take a step back to rephrase. For example, instead of “I can never get it right!” saying: “This feels overwhelming right now, and I can’t do it all. What I can do is ________”. Another way to take care of yourself is to connect with others in a genuine way. Find someone to talk to who will want to learn about the ways you are unique instead of judging you for your differences. Start where you are, be kind to yourself, and work at your own pace. As the saying goes the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today. Instead of helping us “toughen up” and succeed, being critical of ourselves is often our biggest downfall. We gradually shut down, decreasing our ability to be creative, productive, and successful – to dull the very light within us that others may need to see. The very light that propels us to change and grow. Real life is full of maybes, grey areas and unanswered questions. If we can’t believe and trust in ourselves, it will be difficult to achieve our goals, connect with others, and feel content. We are here today to try again- and what a beautiful beginning. -Gillian If you are hoping to make a change in your life, or would just like more information on counseling in general, please call 512-501-2597. You may schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to ask questions, gain a better understanding of what counseling is like, and decide if it is the right step for you. *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Combatting Shame for Mental Health Month Posted on May 5, 2015June 28, 2017 by AspireNB May is National Mental Health Awareness Month! Dr. Brene Brown, author of books “I thought it was just me” and “Daring Greatly” always does a fantastic job of discussing shame and resilience. Many times, individuals experience shame as a result of trauma, harsh or unrealistic family values, misunderstandings, identity, body image or even ignorance about mental health or counseling. Just like physical health or physical fitness, mental health is important to practice daily! Most of us can admit we have at one time or another experienced shame. Sometimes, especially if we have multiple shame triggers, it can spiral into depression or other mental health concerns that hinder our ability to achieve our goals and visions for life. In this short video, Dr. Brene Brown describes the 3 best ways to stop a shame spiral. For more information on Dr. Brene Brown and her work on shame and resilience visit: http://brenebrown.com -Gillian Amaro Aspire New Braunfels PLLC 145 Landa Street, New Braunfels TX 78130 512-501-2597
High School Powerhaus Posted on January 24, 2015June 11, 2018 by AspireNB High School Powerhaus: A Supportive group for high school students In high school, there are so many decisions to make, peer pressures to avoid, and family expectations to uphold. If you are a high school student who feels overwhelmed at times from expectations from school, family, friends & activities, this group is for you! Sometimes, it seems no one understands the pressures that high school can bring, except other high school students. This group allows high schoolers to talk, vent, and support each other, taking time away from outside opinions, and learning what you truly like & need in your life. Group goals include: Purposefully choosing decisions for myself & my future Successfully managing school assignments, tasks, & expectations Finding positive ways to cope with stress Balancing activities, family, friends, school & work Increasing positive communication with parents regarding your feelings & needs Boundary setting Goal setting Meditation & Relaxation Exercises Meeting like-minded high school students Accepting support & requesting feedback from HS peers in a safe environment Laughing This group meets once a month on Monday evenings. Cost: $40/session This will be a closed group, meaning that once we begin a series, I will not let anyone new into the group. This allows for higher levels of confidentiality and safety. I keep groups small, with no more than 6 participants per group, so that I can easily attend to each member’s needs. For specific dates & times, questions, or to reserve your space, please contact Gillian Amaro, M.Ed., LPC at 512-501-2597.
New Counseling Location! Posted on January 1, 2015February 26, 2016 by AspireNB We are excited to announce that we have a new counseling location here in New Braunfels! 145 Landa Street, New Braunfels TX 78130- a beautiful, historic building close to the plaza downtown. In addition, there is a room just for our counseling groups. We still have a counseling space in San Marcos, however we are slowly moving all clients to the New Braunfels location. All new counseling appointments will be scheduled in New Braunfels at the location above. If you are seeking counseling and want to schedule an appointment, or if you have questions regarding counseling or the counseling process, please feel free to give us a call at 512-501-2597. We offer free phone consultations and are usually able to return your call within 24 hours.
Senior Project Posted on November 15, 2014June 11, 2018 by AspireNB Calling All Seniors! Most high school seniors feel like their last year in high school is one life changing decision after another, and so many “last times” that it can get overwhelming fast. College choices, scholarships, forms, relationships, leaving friends behind, attending homecoming, clubs, prom…. You may feel like graduation can’t come soon enough one day, and the next day you can’t stop worrying about how little time you have. It may even feel as though in every area in your life, you are constantly having to prove yourself. Getting through your senior year is a bit like learning to ride a bike without the training wheels. Once you get moving, it will seem natural & you’ll never look back. But in the meantime, you’ll need a lot of love, support, trust… and maybe a push or two. This group is specifically for high school seniors who want guidance through their senior year, in a way that is hard to find within your typical high school routine. We will meet once a month for the whole year and will talk, vent, offer support, and practice coping skills that will help you as you transition to your next step in life. I truly love working with high school seniors, and enjoy incorporating any music, art, or writing that helps you to express your experiences. In addition to specific requests from group members we will address: Reducing overwhelm & anxiety Accepting support & requesting feedback from your peers Self-care skills Meditation & relaxation exercises Healthy communication strategies Boundary setting Articulating & fulfilling individual needs Goal setting Feeling more empowered in your life The fee will be $40/session, and we will meet once a month on Monday evenings. This is a closed group, which means that once we begin, I will not let anyone new into the group. This allows for higher levels of confidentiality and safety. I keep groups small, with no more than 5 participants per group, so that I can easily attend to each member’s needs. To sign up or ask questions, please contact Gillian Amaro, M.Ed., LPC at 512-501-2597
Welcome to Aspire New Braunfels, PLLC with Gillian Amaro Posted on September 4, 2014September 9, 2015 by AspireNB Gillian Amaro, M.Ed, LPC Aspire New Braunfels, PLLC Aspire: as·pire verb \ə-ˈspī(-ə)r\ : to want to have or achieve something 1 : to seek to attain or accomplish a particular goal 2 : ascend, soar Welcome! Thank you for considering counseling. Aspire New Braunfels, PLLC is formed with the idea that we can all create wellness in our lives and that each one of us is capable of defining and accomplishing our own unique goals. Sometimes that may be moving forward in a logical or predictable way. Sometimes, what may look like a step backward is actually a step forward. Counseling is above all, a relationship in which a counselor walks beside you, listening to your story, offering support, and challenging you at key moments. It is very important that you choose someone who you trust and feel at ease with. Sometimes counseling may be short. It may help you to learn concrete skills to improve relationships, reduce stress, increase productivity or to improve other symptoms that have a negative impact on your life. It can also give support during a challenging transition or life event. I believe that we, as individuals, have power over our thoughts and actions. At the same time, we can be affected & troubled by outside influences, as we are closely interconnected with the world around us- from our friends, family, and community to the world at large. As you work towards achieving your goals, I will help you gain awareness about your unique strengths- as well as obstacles that may hinder your progress. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Texas and earned my Masters degree in Counseling and Guidance from Texas State in 2009. Since then, I have worked in nonprofit agencies, alternative schools, and in private practice. I am continually attending new trainings and reading new material related to my clients and practice. In addition, I am trained in the Gottman Method and am a member of the American Counseling Association. I enjoy finding ways to integrate your interests into the counseling process. These can include art, music, books, writing, the great outdoors, and physical activity. I look forward to hearing from you soon! I can be contacted in the following ways: Phone: 512.501.2597 Email: amaro@aspireNB.com Counseling Office: 145 Landa Street, New Braunfels, TX 78130 Mailing Address: PO Box #311114, New Braunfels, TX 78131 During the week, I will answer your calls as long as I am not with another client. If I do not answer, I will make every effort to respond to your call or email within 24 hours. After Hours Contact: During evenings, weekends, and holidays I may not be able to return your call within 24 hours. However, I will make every effort to return your call on the first business day that I return. Emergency Contact: In any event where you are a danger to yourself or others, or when someone else is endangering your safety, you must immediately call 911, or the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).