The Season for Self-Care Posted on November 10, 2018November 11, 2018 by AspireNB 40 Self-Care ideas to help you through the holidays ‘Tis the season… for self-care! Holidays can be stressful even when you are excited about all of the festivities, so it should come as no surprise that if you are going through any type of difficulty or crisis, the holiday season will likely be complicated. Many people are struggling with hidden grief, illness, depression, anxiety, financial difficulties, or just increased stress in general. It is normal to feel sad or angry about memories related to the holidays, or to feel triggered by familiar routines, songs, and gatherings that you “should” be enjoying. You might notice tension, dread, or even feel numb, as if you are operating on autopilot. It is important not to guilt or shame ourselves about these feelings but rather acknowledge them, and place a higher importance on caring for ourselves, first. Don’t worry- your ability to care for others will return, but balancing your own system takes priority. *** 40 ways to begin caring for yourself this season Check in with your current feelings, and determine what your biggest need is (use the wiseheart worksheet here) Take a walk outside. Stretch or practice yoga. Try a meditation- the Headspace app is a great place to start. Take a photo of something that makes you smile (bonus if you use that picture as your screensaver on your phone or computer). Hug yourself or someone you love for at least 1 minute. Light a candle and breathe deeply. If negative thoughts arise, acknowledge them, then let them go. Make a list of people you can call if you’re having a rough day – or moment. (BONUS: CALL ONE!) LAUGH Listen to a positive playlist, or make one of your own. Read a new book (BONUS: read an uplifting, spiritual, or motivating book) Pet an animal Smile at a stranger Play a fun board game Dance with reckless abandon Set a healthy boundary State a need you have out loud Create a gratitude journal entry Add one healthy ritual into your daily life Sing loudly without caring who hears you Visit a place you have never been to before Garden or get your hands in some dirt Eat a healthy, veggie-rich meal Drink 1/2 your body weight in ounces today (so if you are 120 lbs, drink at least 60 oz of water) Paint, draw, build, color – allow yourself to be creative for at least 5 minutes Organize one area in your living space Find one way to give to others that also brings YOU joy – and do it Watch a comedy Breathe deeply while reciting a prayer or positive mantra Schedule at least 5 minutes of spontaneous play into your day Try one new thing and don’t think about it or plan it too much Ask for help even if its with something small Think about what you’re especially good at, and do it today Take care of a nagging task that keeps getting ignored Curl up with a blanket and drink a cup of hot lemon water or tea Give some purposeful attention to something you usually ignore Cook or bake a favorite meal/treat Watch the sunrise or sunset Write a letter to someone you are thankful for Do nothing and cross this number off just because you deserve it *** This list is meant to help you begin a self-care routine, and I encourage you to start with this list, note which activities refresh you the most, and add more ideas as you go. It is also important to remember that holiday celebrations can be changed in any way we wish them to be; we only need to take time to decide what those changes look like to us, and communicate those with friends and loved ones. In addition, while self-care is a great start, if you have experienced trauma, grief, or are spending much of your time feeling worried or sad, counseling is an important way to filter out what you need most, and gain coping skills for your specific situation. For more information on self-care basics, click here. Want to join me for FREE parent & tot yoga this holiday season? Click here for more details For weekly inspiration & updates, follow Aspire New Braunfels on instagram & facebook. *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to find insight as they balance their bodies, minds & hearts. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and I offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Aspire New Braunfels on Instagram Aspire New Braunfels on Facebook Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today
Parent & Child Yoga Posted on August 10, 2018January 18, 2019 by AspireNB Parent – Tot Yoga! Why yoga? Personally, I have experienced how yoga not only decreases my stress & reduces muscle tension, it also provides a space for me to focus on the present moment, my physical body, and its connection (or disconnection) from my mind and heart. Yoga creates a union between our body, mind & soul – and also helps us unite with others. Today, more than ever, I believe children need to experience presence, meditation, and community. The first time I did “yoga time” with my daughter, she said it was the best part of her day. For private family classes, contact me. To try out a general class, you can join me at Gypsy Waltz Yoga. I teach the little gypsies class at 11:00am every Friday. For more information follow the link to the Gypsy Waltz site here.
Building Boundaries Posted on August 1, 2018December 2, 2018 by AspireNB A supportive group for women interested in setting healthy boundaries. If you are a nurturer, a perfectionist, a workaholic, or a peacemaker, this group may be for you! You might be thinking, I’ve heard that word before. But, what really IS a boundary?! “A boundary is anything that helps to differentiate you from someone else or shows where you begin and end” (Cloud & Townsend, p. 35). In this group, we will explore our personalities, and learn basic boundary skills. This group is part support group, part psycho-education, and part book club. In my experience, most of the women I know have difficulty setting boundaries in one way or another. Together, we will learn what boundaries are, as well as when, where, and how they can happen, and the importance of setting boundaries. We will also explore our own needs and feelings around boundaries, supporting each other along the way. We will use the book “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. Group sessions will follow this book in a purposeful manner, and will also include: Supportive & experiential group activities Accepting support & requesting feedback from your peers Meditation & relaxation exercises Healthy communication strategies SPRING 2019 Schedule: We will begin in February 2019 and end in November 2019. Groups will meet once a month, on Wednesday afternoons Group will meet for 10 months (10 sessions total) We will begin in February 2019 and end in November 2019. The cost is $50 per 2 hour session ($500 for all 10 months) Moms of New Braunfels discount accepted for all new/first-time members. To sign up or ask questions, please contact Gillian Amaro, M.Ed, LPC: 512-501-2597 Still unsure? Here are a few more excerpts from the book, regarding how boundaries affect us: “Each of us has different desires and wants, dreams and wishes, goals and plans, hungers and thirsts- but few of us are satisfied. One reason is that we lack the internal structure that boundaries provide to enable us to define and then take the specific steps necessary to reach our goals.” (p. 48-49) “We need to claim our hearts as our property and work on weaknesses, whether we are weak receiving, or weak giving, love. Doing so will open up life to us.” (p. 49-50) “Feelings, attitudes and beliefs, behaviors, choices, values, limits, talents, thoughts, desires, and love – all of these lie within our boundaries. We therefore need to take responsibility for all of these areas of our souls.”
What is Self-Care, Anyway? Posted on May 18, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Self-care has been getting more press lately, but it still might sound confusing. The definition of self-care, according to Christine Meinecke, Ph.D, is “choosing behaviors that balance the effects of emotional and physical stressors.” Self-care is important for everyone, and a pre-requisite for connecting in a meaningful way. If you are a healer of any kind (mothering, fathering, teaching and caregiving definitely count!) it is important to be more purposeful about your own self-care, especially if you feel you lack the time. Self-care is the first step to standing your sacred ground, and creating better, more empowered connections in – and outside of – your work. Here are 4 helpful areas to keep in mind when adding a self-care routine into your life: 1) Write down 5 reasons to care for YOU, EVEN WHEN _______________. In other words, what makes YOU unique, helpful, inspiring? When you are at your best, in your “zone” what do you look like? These will be great reminders for why self-care rituals & breaks are important; even when ________ (meetings, state tests, playoffs, deadlines, etc…) 2) Begin to pay attention to when you need more self-care, and what those signs are. What do you look like, sound like, feel like when you need more self-care (this is your “shadow self”; the traits you might hate to admit you have, but that are there -just simply part of being a human!). 3) Find your team. It is important to know who is in your inner circle, who you can count on to be on your self-care team. Whether they are family or friends, these are YOUR people, who you can count on when you are stuck. Aim for at least 3-5, and write their phone numbers down too. 4) Try lots of different types of self-care, and find what works best for you. When you find things that work well, make a note of what they are- and ideally, schedule them in your calendar! Want ideas? Here are several healthy self-care options: Eating healthfully Box Breathing Exercise Getting enough sleep Acknowledging our needs Setting healthy boundaries Making a plan for a goal Grounding yourself in the present moment Connecting with others Listening to uplifting music Laughing Playing games with friends Saying no to extra requests Counseling Understanding needs you might have at work, and how to create rituals in your day to meet those needs Leaving work at work Spending time outside Scheduling the week ahead on Sunday mornings Reading for fun Gardening Dancing Watching a funny movie with a friend Singing Cooking Baking Joining a support group Taking a trip/vacation Getting a massage Watching a sunset Playing an instrument Meditation & prayer Petting an animal Lighting candles Smiling Assess your SUDS Do your chores (yes, really!) Keeping letters & notes from former bosses or employees to remind you of your strengths Thanks for reading! -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Empowered Mothering Series Posted on April 26, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Coming Soon! Empowered Mothering Series at the New Braunfels Library *FREE* 2 part workshop series I am thrilled to host an upcoming series at the New Braunfels Library JUST FOR MOMS! As a counselor, wife & mother of 2, I definitely know the importance of self-care! This 2-part series will help you to better understand yourself, acknowledge & reduce your stress, learn new coping skills, and increase healthy communication- with your partner, your family & your children. This is a great opportunity to not only learn skills that will improve your emotional health, but experience & practice them. See below for more information! WHO: Any mother or female guardian of a child – and moms to be! WHAT: Self-care (June) & healthy communication (July) WHERE: New Braunfels Public Library WHEN: One hour sessions on Tuesday, June 5th & Tuesday, July 10th at 6 PM COST: FREE!!! Goals of June workshop (self-care) include: Learn the definition of self-care & at least one sign that you need more of it Learn how to assess your SUDS or “resting stress rate” Learn 3 simple ways to de-stress Experience short, relaxing guided imagery/meditation Name one person who can be part of your future self-care “team” Goals of July workshop (healthy communication) include: Learn how to assess your own feelings & needs authentically Experience what setting a boundary feels like Learn 3 basics of boundary setting Learn new ways to state your needs, without hurting loved ones Experience short, relaxing guided imagery/meditation Part 1: Tuesday, June 5, 2018 at 6PM (self-care) Part 2: Tuesday, July 10, 2018 at 6PM (healthy communication) Both sessions will last one hour. NOTE: Unfortunately, there will not be childcare available for these sessions. If you have any questions, please contact: Gillian Amaro, LPC-S 512-501-2597 amaro@aspireNB.com *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
The Benefits of Joining a Group Posted on February 16, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn’t have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don’t be afraid to fail.” -Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx When we are kids, we are constantly trying new things, asking questions, and excitedly taking in the world just as we see it with no fears of making mistakes or looking silly. Not wasting time thinking about failing, being vulnerable or embarrassed. And then we change. We usually can’t pinpoint the specific moment when we became worried about being vulnerable, we just know that all of a sudden, it begins to steal our energy. After reading Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly, I realized even more so how being vulnerable is a key component in enjoying and getting the most out of your life. Vulnerability is one of the biggest reasons people hesitate to join a group. If you happen to know that change is more likely in a group setting, this probably makes sense to you. The human brain likes to understand, to reflect, to question & be challenged, but humans don’t always like the process of change. In fact, sometimes it is downright uncomfortable! But hey, its better than being bored, right? 😉 If you are just finding me, you may see that I offer several groups. This is in part, because people seem to like them! But mostly, because I believe in them! Personally, I am a member of several counseling, consultation, networking and supervision groups. I even exercise with a group, because it keeps me more consistent, accountable, challenged, and happy! If you are unsure about joining a group, here are a few reasons why groups are beneficial! 1. You realize you are not alone! “Shame needs 3 things to grow exponentially. Secrecy, silence & judgement. The antidote is empathy. Talk to someone you love, reach out to someone you trust, tell your story.” Because anxiety & depression are directly related to shame, keeping our past trauma, regrets and true feelings inside are the very things that will make it more difficult to “show up” every day. Being part of a group means that you will not only get to tell your story, but hear from others, and gain support in knowing you are not alone. 2 . Time to think We all get busy and seldom schedule purposeful time to reflect on our lives. Support groups can provide a designated, safe space to voice your inner thoughts, question what your best self might look like, and challenge yourself in new ways. When I plan group sessions, I always make sure to include individual activities that encourage reflection. As a bonus, you also get constructive feedback, insight, encouragement, and support! 3. Motivation When you are part of a group, you meet several others who hear your goals – and can encourage you to stay motivated to reach them. Many times, the group setting can give more natural encouragement, motivation, and advice than could ever happen in an individual counseling appointment. 4. Coping Skills Learn new coping skills in an environment where it is safe to practice them! The hardest part of learning a new skill is mastery; getting enough practice to truly feel confident in using it. A support group is a great place to practice using those newfound coping skills and boundaries, and getting helpful feedback from your peers. 5. Growth!! Most of my groups are not centered around a specific problem; instead they are centered around growth, so if you have never been to counseling before, or if you don’t feel you need counseling, one of my support groups can definitely be the place for you! Like a personal training group for your physical wellness, a support group can be a place to set personal goals that you have never been able to achieve on your own! Humans are naturally social beings, even if we need time alone to recharge. How can you connect with others differently, challenge yourself in new ways, see things in a new light? Sometimes the biggest reward is in how you feel when you are being vulnerable, even it means failing… failing energetically, creating space for growth & new opportunities! Click here for more information on the groups I offer. -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
5 Steps for Creating Special time with our children Posted on February 1, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “Special time”, or M & M time as I like to call it (mommy & me) is simply a time to connect with your child daily that is different than the rest of the day. With visitors, phone calls, dishes, yard work….. most of us cannot connect with our children all the time! The simplicity & complexity of creating a sacred space for connection & healing is an important component of therapy. Similarly, you might need help in setting up a sacred space for connection with your child. Here are 5 steps to help you begin! 1) Decide how much time you can set aside for M&M time daily. Ideally, this would be 15-20 minutes every day with each child, however this obviously depends on your work demands, family rhythm, and size. The most important thing is that you are present with your child for a guaranteed amount of time daily. Even if you can only commit to 5 minutes daily, having a consistent routine for special time assures your child that they will get important connection every day, just with you. 2) Depending on your child’s age, think about- or talk with your child about- where is most comfortable for them to play and/or talk, and then decide the best time and place for special time. You may find one child wakes up early, and enjoys their special time then, while another needs to check in right after school or after dinner. Ideally, if you have multiple children, this is a time and place where their siblings are asleep, spending time with your spouse, or involved in another activity. 3) Develop some kind of ritual to signify that special time is beginning or ending. This could be a specific time, song, candle, fun yell, “secret sign”, or even lighting of a candle. With smaller children, you will want to set a timer, and give them updates about how much time is left, so that they understand clearly when special time begins and ends. 4) As much as possible, allow your child to talk about or ask you anything they want. If they ask a question that makes you feel uncomfortable, say that you are uncomfortable answering that and offer an alternative (more information on ACT limit setting here). As a parent, please make sure if you do ask questions during special time that they are: A) Open-ended B) Not related to recent arguments or disagreements and C) Your child can “pass” or choose not to answer for any reason 5) There are a few important “rules” for special time: 1. Allow your child to be “in charge” during this time as much as is possible. 2. If they want to do something that is not allowed, use the ACT limit setting strategy and try to keep your voice calm. 3. Setting Limits: Use the ACT limit setting technique described here 4. Phones are off and in another room. 5. Most of the play and/or topics should be introduced by the child. Examples of open ended questions: Can you describe your favorite part of your day today? Can you describe a time when you had trouble in school today? What made you laugh today? Can you tell me about a friend you have, that I don’t know much about? How is our family different from your friends’ families? How are we the same? Some ideas for special time activities might include: play dough legos puzzles painting blocks taking a walk outside cards or board games matchbox cars trains dolls pretend play -kitchen, tools, etc outdoor play/games Please allow yourself to make mistakes as you are trying this out. In time, it will get easier. As this becomes more routine, adding weekly or monthly “dates” with mom and dad are another great way to connect, do something fun, and create memories. Keep connecting! -Gillian For a quick summary of ACT limit setting, please click here For a video on ACT limit setting by Dr. Theresa Kellam please click here If you are hoping to make a change in your life, or would just like more information on counseling in general, please call 512-501-2597. You may schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to ask questions, gain a better understanding of what counseling is like, and decide if it is the right step for you. “Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” -Fred Rogers *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
ACT Limit Setting Posted on February 1, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB ACT limit setting is a positive discipline strategy developed by Dr. Garry Landreth, co-founder of Child Parent Relational Therapy. Setting limits with your children is hard, and many times I am asked what books & techniques I recommend. ACT limit setting is always my first recommendation, and can be used with BOTH toddlers and teens. Here is a quick summary of the ACT limit setting formula: 1) Acknowledge the Feeling “You are feeling happy and having fun playing war…” 2) Communicate the Limit “but toys are not for throwing.” 3) Target the Alternative “You may move your toys fast or slide them on the floor” That’s it! Parenting is as much about setting limits as it is about having fun with your child. So, it only makes sense that connection must also happen when you need to discipline, or set limits for your child. The ACT method truly is a quick, easy way to communicate limits- and connect with your child. It can even be used with teens. For example: “I know you feel angry and disappointed that you cannot go to the concert with your friends. I wish you could go alone, but it is too far to drive by yourself. If you still want to go, I can take you myself, or you can go with your dad.” Regardless of the limits or rules you need to set in your home, genuinely listening to & understanding your child’s feelings is critical for fostering a positive parent-child relationship. As a bonus, this positive relationship & connection makes it easier for your child to accept your rules & limits! Keep connecting! -Gillian For a video on setting limits with young children, click here. *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Your brain & exercise Posted on November 14, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB I’ve always known that exercise is important, but I recently read through The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb, PhD and was happy to find even more research support for it. The Upward Spiral discusses using neuroscience to reverse the course of depression, one small change at a time – with one of those being exercise. I want to clarify that “exercise” doesn’t have to mean working out like Rocky every day of the week. It simply means MOVING YOUR BODY. This can include throwing a baseball in the backyard, taking your dog for a walk, dancing to music in your kitchen, chasing your toddler into the next room, or even cleaning the house! As always, I encourage you to start where you are and focus on your progress. Maybe when you begin, you are very tired, and the dishes are your exercise. Put on some music, and let yourself move a little extra. The next day, maybe you feel better after the dishes are done, and continue dancing – or take a walk around the block. Start small, but be consistent! Some type of movement every day helps! Alex Korb said in The Upward Spiral that “your brain does not like being idle; it comes with a body, and it wants to use it.” Here are 5 great (brain researched) reasons to get out and run, walk, or dance – listed in his book. The Natural Antidepressant. “Exercise is possibly the most straightforward and powerful way to start an upward spiral. Not only is it easy to understand, but exercise also has many of the same effects on the brain as antidepressant medications and even mimics the buzz of recreational drugs. Yet exercise is natural, it causes more nuanced and targeted brain changes, and its benefits can exceed even those of medication.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Better sleep. “Depression often messes up your sleep patterns, but exercise improves your sleep, making it more restorative for your brain.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. A Stronger Brain. Exercise increases nerve growth factors, such as brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which are like steroids for your brain. BDNF makes your brain stronger, so it’s more resistant to all kinds of problems, not just depression.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Better Concentration “Exercise increases norepinephrine” which helps increase concentration and deep thinking. -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Motivation and Better Decision Making “The orbitofrontal cortex influences motivation and decision making. The dorsolateral prefrontal cortex helps with planning and thinking. The insula modulates pain perception. And the anterior cingulate guides your focus. Amazingly, endorphin signaling in all of these areas is improved by exercise.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. To really boost the effects of exercise, try one of the following: Be purposeful. Make a specific goal for how you want to move- and stick to it. Better yet – make it a “SMART” goal; specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. In addition, PLAN for obstacles. What is the most likely obstacle to this goal? Make a plan for what you when that obstacle happens AHEAD of time, so you don’t have to think about it in the moment. There are always obstacles in life, so planning for them ahead of time can feel very empowering and energizing. Get out! Instead of going to a gym, choose a local trail or park to run or walk in. Even if there’s not a pretty view where you run, just running outside has more mood-boosting benefits than the gym or treadmill. Team Up. This is probably the most important piece! Join a supportive exercise group or gym, partner with a personal trainer, or ask a friend to commit to your exercise plan with you. This helps you stick to your goal – and the socialization also improves your brain’s health. “Humans are a social species- we evolved to survive with each other, and our brains are healthiest when we interact with and feel connected to others” -Alex Korb, PhD., The Upward Spiral Add music. Make a playlist of positive songs that you can listen to during exercise. “Music engages most of the limbic system, including the hippocampus, anterior cingulate, and nucleus accumbens, which is why it can be motivating and can help regulate your emotions. It can also be soothing, lowering blood pressure and reducing stress.” Alex Korb, Ph.D, The Upward Spiral Say thank you! Make a practice of being grateful for your body’s ability to move- and practice saying it every time you move! I hope this has inspired you to get out there and move! If you would like to learn more about the brain and how it is affected by depression and anxiety, please read The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb, Ph.D. -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Counseling Chaos Posted on November 10, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.” (unknown) Stress. We all feel it and at times, we all are negatively affected by it. It’s easy to think that to escape it, we have to move to a remote island, however health psychologist Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. feels strongly that as far as our health is concerned, stress is only as bad as our attitude about it. Better yet, if we use our stress as a way to strengthen our connection with others, we can triumph over it. What a relief to know that we don’t have to live life in a remote cabin in the woods to escape the negative health effects of stress! When stress is caused by a unique situation such as sudden or lingering trauma, it is even more important to reach out for help. Trauma brings on a heightened state, so even if you usually have good coping skills, a traumatic event can simply be too much to handle on your own. Although you may want to “stay strong” or “deal with it” the best way to do both of those things is to connect with others and ask for help. In order to survive, we have to reach out – through counseling, friends, neighbors, family, your church — or all of the above. No matter how we initially cope, if we fail to address stress and its impact on our lives, we can find ourselves feeling numb or “waiting” to live our lives fully. As Kelly McGonigal states, stress is not the enemy… it can even propel us to set and accomplish bigger goals. It comes from all different sources, but it is something we have to acknowledge and understand- with the help of others we trust. We cannot always control what happens in life, but we can choose how and what we react to, and learn ways to refocus our energy and define our future. Alex Korb, Ph.D., in his book The Upward Spiral, explains that when we are stressed, we act more out of habit than intention. He explains that the increased habitual behavior we experience when stressed is “caused by changes in processing within the habitual dorsal striatum. In addition, the stress caused the decision-making orbitofrontal cortex to actually shrink”. In other words, once we take time to relax and take care of our stress in a positive way, the orbitofrontal cortex returns to its normal size. This is another reason why connection is so important – when we’re stressed, we tend to forget the importance of taking care of ourselves, and friends can help us remember to do that. For example, setting a weekly or daily routine of exercising with a friend, setting a goal and asking someone to help keep you accountable to it, meeting a friend for yoga, asking for help and expressing your gratitude when someone accepts, smiling at others, taking a walk outside with a coworker or just laughing can all help you increase positive connections and reduce your stress. If you are struggling to begin some of these steps or feel there are other things you need to address, consider calling a professional counselor. Counseling can help us quiet negative thoughts in our mind and face them bravely, by connecting and healing with a trusted professional. It might be scary, but it can also be the first step to reclaiming your life from stress. Instead of making decisions out of fear and doubt, you can work towards making decisions that truly define what you want and where you are going. Learning to find peace in the middle; experiencing healing, peace, and insight despite facing a stressful world. You may not be able to change the world, but you can start with caring for yourself. -Gillian If you would like help sifting through stress in your life, or would like more information on counseling in general, please call 512-501-2597. You may schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to ask questions, gain a better understanding of what counseling is like, and decide if it is the right step for you. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor located in New Braunfels, TX and offer individual counseling, couples counseling, group counseling, and workshops. TED talk by Kelly McGonigal: *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook