Counseling Chaos

“Peace.

It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work.

It means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.”

(unknown)

 

Stress. We all feel it and at times, we all are negatively affected by it. It’s easy to think that to escape it, we have to move to a remote island, however health psychologist Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. feels strongly that as far as our health is concerned, stress is only as bad as our attitude about it. Better yet, if we use our stress as a way to strengthen our connection with others, we can triumph over it.  What a relief to know that we don’t have to live life in a remote cabin in the woods to escape the negative health effects of stress!  

When stress is caused by a unique situation such as sudden or lingering trauma, it is even more important to reach out for help. Trauma brings on a heightened state, so even if you usually have good coping skills, a traumatic event can simply be too much to handle on your own. Although you may want to “stay strong” or “deal with it” the best way to do both of those things is to connect with others and ask for help. In order to survive, we have to reach out – through counseling, friends, neighbors, family, your church — or all of the above.

No matter how we initially cope, if we fail to address stress and its impact on our lives, we can find ourselves feeling numb or “waiting” to live our lives fully.

As Kelly McGonigal states, stress is not the enemy…  it can even propel us to set and accomplish bigger goals. It comes from all different sources, but it is something we have to acknowledge and understand- with the help of others we trust. We cannot always control what happens in life, but we can choose how and what we react to, and learn ways to refocus our energy and define our future.

Alex Korb, Ph.D., in his book The Upward Spiral, explains that when we are stressed, we act more out of habit than intention. He explains that the increased habitual behavior we experience when stressed is “caused by changes in processing within the habitual dorsal striatum. In addition, the stress caused the decision-making orbitofrontal cortex to actually shrink”.  In other words, once we take time to relax and take care of our stress in a positive way, the orbitofrontal cortex returns to its normal size.

This is another reason why connection is so important – when we’re stressed, we tend to forget the importance of taking care of ourselves, and friends can help us remember to do that. For example, setting a weekly or daily routine of exercising with a friend, setting a goal and asking someone to help keep you accountable to it, meeting a friend for yoga, asking for help and expressing your gratitude when someone accepts, smiling at others, taking a walk outside with a coworker or just laughing can all help you increase positive connections and reduce your stress.

If you are struggling to begin some of these steps or feel there are other things you need to address, consider calling a professional counselor.

Counseling can help us quiet negative thoughts in our mind and face them bravely, by connecting and healing with a trusted professional.  It might be scary, but it can also be the first step to reclaiming your life from stress. Instead of making decisions out of fear and doubt, you can work towards making decisions that truly define what you want and where you are going. Learning to find peace in the middle; experiencing healing, peace, and insight despite facing a stressful world.  You may not be able to change the world, but you can start with caring for yourself.

 

-Gillian

 

If you would like help sifting through stress in your life, or would like more information on counseling in general, please call 512-501-2597.

You may schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to ask questions, gain a better understanding of what counseling is like, and decide if it is the right step for you.

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor located in New Braunfels, TX and offer individual counseling, couples counseling, group counseling, and workshops.

 

TED talk by Kelly McGonigal:

 

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Gillian Amaro, LPC-S

I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings.

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392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130

www.aspireNB.com

Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels

Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today

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