GOAL Getters Group Posted on January 7, 2018January 7, 2019 by AspireNB Gaining a support team as you take on a new challenge can be crucial to your success. This group will allow you to feel both challenged and supported by your peers in a confidential, calm and safe setting. We will focus on your personal goals, and also identify potential triggers and road blocks, help you prepare for them with custom strategies, discussing fear’s role in your goal achievement, and again, gaining genuine support from other likeminded women. In every group meeting, you can expect supportive and experiential group activities, meditation & relaxation exercises, healthy communication strategies, quiet time for reflection, and support from your peers. This group will meet once a month on Wednesday evenings, beginning in February 2019 and will continue to meet until December 2019. Each group meeting lasts for 2 hours.
Your brain & exercise Posted on November 14, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB I’ve always known that exercise is important, but I recently read through The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb, PhD and was happy to find even more research support for it. The Upward Spiral discusses using neuroscience to reverse the course of depression, one small change at a time – with one of those being exercise. I want to clarify that “exercise” doesn’t have to mean working out like Rocky every day of the week. It simply means MOVING YOUR BODY. This can include throwing a baseball in the backyard, taking your dog for a walk, dancing to music in your kitchen, chasing your toddler into the next room, or even cleaning the house! As always, I encourage you to start where you are and focus on your progress. Maybe when you begin, you are very tired, and the dishes are your exercise. Put on some music, and let yourself move a little extra. The next day, maybe you feel better after the dishes are done, and continue dancing – or take a walk around the block. Start small, but be consistent! Some type of movement every day helps! Alex Korb said in The Upward Spiral that “your brain does not like being idle; it comes with a body, and it wants to use it.” Here are 5 great (brain researched) reasons to get out and run, walk, or dance – listed in his book. The Natural Antidepressant. “Exercise is possibly the most straightforward and powerful way to start an upward spiral. Not only is it easy to understand, but exercise also has many of the same effects on the brain as antidepressant medications and even mimics the buzz of recreational drugs. Yet exercise is natural, it causes more nuanced and targeted brain changes, and its benefits can exceed even those of medication.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Better sleep. “Depression often messes up your sleep patterns, but exercise improves your sleep, making it more restorative for your brain.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. A Stronger Brain. Exercise increases nerve growth factors, such as brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which are like steroids for your brain. BDNF makes your brain stronger, so it’s more resistant to all kinds of problems, not just depression.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Better Concentration “Exercise increases norepinephrine” which helps increase concentration and deep thinking. -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Motivation and Better Decision Making “The orbitofrontal cortex influences motivation and decision making. The dorsolateral prefrontal cortex helps with planning and thinking. The insula modulates pain perception. And the anterior cingulate guides your focus. Amazingly, endorphin signaling in all of these areas is improved by exercise.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. To really boost the effects of exercise, try one of the following: Be purposeful. Make a specific goal for how you want to move- and stick to it. Better yet – make it a “SMART” goal; specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. In addition, PLAN for obstacles. What is the most likely obstacle to this goal? Make a plan for what you when that obstacle happens AHEAD of time, so you don’t have to think about it in the moment. There are always obstacles in life, so planning for them ahead of time can feel very empowering and energizing. Get out! Instead of going to a gym, choose a local trail or park to run or walk in. Even if there’s not a pretty view where you run, just running outside has more mood-boosting benefits than the gym or treadmill. Team Up. This is probably the most important piece! Join a supportive exercise group or gym, partner with a personal trainer, or ask a friend to commit to your exercise plan with you. This helps you stick to your goal – and the socialization also improves your brain’s health. “Humans are a social species- we evolved to survive with each other, and our brains are healthiest when we interact with and feel connected to others” -Alex Korb, PhD., The Upward Spiral Add music. Make a playlist of positive songs that you can listen to during exercise. “Music engages most of the limbic system, including the hippocampus, anterior cingulate, and nucleus accumbens, which is why it can be motivating and can help regulate your emotions. It can also be soothing, lowering blood pressure and reducing stress.” Alex Korb, Ph.D, The Upward Spiral Say thank you! Make a practice of being grateful for your body’s ability to move- and practice saying it every time you move! I hope this has inspired you to get out there and move! If you would like to learn more about the brain and how it is affected by depression and anxiety, please read The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb, Ph.D. -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Counseling Chaos Posted on November 10, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.” (unknown) Stress. We all feel it and at times, we all are negatively affected by it. It’s easy to think that to escape it, we have to move to a remote island, however health psychologist Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. feels strongly that as far as our health is concerned, stress is only as bad as our attitude about it. Better yet, if we use our stress as a way to strengthen our connection with others, we can triumph over it. What a relief to know that we don’t have to live life in a remote cabin in the woods to escape the negative health effects of stress! When stress is caused by a unique situation such as sudden or lingering trauma, it is even more important to reach out for help. Trauma brings on a heightened state, so even if you usually have good coping skills, a traumatic event can simply be too much to handle on your own. Although you may want to “stay strong” or “deal with it” the best way to do both of those things is to connect with others and ask for help. In order to survive, we have to reach out – through counseling, friends, neighbors, family, your church — or all of the above. No matter how we initially cope, if we fail to address stress and its impact on our lives, we can find ourselves feeling numb or “waiting” to live our lives fully. As Kelly McGonigal states, stress is not the enemy… it can even propel us to set and accomplish bigger goals. It comes from all different sources, but it is something we have to acknowledge and understand- with the help of others we trust. We cannot always control what happens in life, but we can choose how and what we react to, and learn ways to refocus our energy and define our future. Alex Korb, Ph.D., in his book The Upward Spiral, explains that when we are stressed, we act more out of habit than intention. He explains that the increased habitual behavior we experience when stressed is “caused by changes in processing within the habitual dorsal striatum. In addition, the stress caused the decision-making orbitofrontal cortex to actually shrink”. In other words, once we take time to relax and take care of our stress in a positive way, the orbitofrontal cortex returns to its normal size. This is another reason why connection is so important – when we’re stressed, we tend to forget the importance of taking care of ourselves, and friends can help us remember to do that. For example, setting a weekly or daily routine of exercising with a friend, setting a goal and asking someone to help keep you accountable to it, meeting a friend for yoga, asking for help and expressing your gratitude when someone accepts, smiling at others, taking a walk outside with a coworker or just laughing can all help you increase positive connections and reduce your stress. If you are struggling to begin some of these steps or feel there are other things you need to address, consider calling a professional counselor. Counseling can help us quiet negative thoughts in our mind and face them bravely, by connecting and healing with a trusted professional. It might be scary, but it can also be the first step to reclaiming your life from stress. Instead of making decisions out of fear and doubt, you can work towards making decisions that truly define what you want and where you are going. Learning to find peace in the middle; experiencing healing, peace, and insight despite facing a stressful world. You may not be able to change the world, but you can start with caring for yourself. -Gillian If you would like help sifting through stress in your life, or would like more information on counseling in general, please call 512-501-2597. You may schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to ask questions, gain a better understanding of what counseling is like, and decide if it is the right step for you. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor located in New Braunfels, TX and offer individual counseling, couples counseling, group counseling, and workshops. TED talk by Kelly McGonigal: *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Love & Marriage: couples in the first year Posted on September 8, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Love and Marriage: Couples in the first year Do you feel that? She asked as we watched the stars and moon illuminate the sea before us. Tell me you feel it? That longing to not just exist, but to live and to live beautifully? I, with a smile filled with so much truth it could move the clouds, said to her: Of course I feel it. The heart in you, is the heart in me. -Christopher Poindexter Summer.. time for weddings, love, the beach, and relaxing. Then comes September, school, work, the bills…. Especially in the first year of marriage, we all hope for things to be easy, filled only with love, fun, and wonderful times. Maybe you are one of the lucky few where this happens easily but I think most of the time, LIFE happens instead. Life can spark disagreements and stress for couples, and leave both of you questioning what marriage is “supposed” to be like. When my husband and I got married in 2007, we both looked to our families to see what made their marriages successful. We knew that having their advice was a luxury not everyone is privileged to have. At the same time, even their advice was confusing at times … both sides with different marriage styles that were different from our own! The truth is, marriage not only needs love – but hard work … even in the first year! Adding to the list of newlywed stresses are the statistics. We have all seen the numbers broadcast on TV, social media, and the internet that over 50% of marriages now end in divorce. Not a pleasant statistic for newlyweds- or anyone considering marriage or a committed relationship! Many couples feel marriage counseling is the beginning of the end, when in reality, it is crucial to learn and practice healthy communication from the beginning. Pre-marital counseling, early couples counseling or occasional “tune-ups” can help get any marriage started on the right foot- and assess for areas that can be improved before they create more serious problems. I use the Gottman Couples Method when working with couples and feel it gives couples clear strategies to bring healing into their relationship, instead of focusing solely on what’s going wrong. John Gottman has defined the “4 horsemen of the apocalypse” (behaviors that can deteriorate a marriage or relationship and invite breakups) 1. criticism 2. contempt 3. defensiveness 4. stonewalling Over the course of any marriage or relationship, it is highly probable that at least one or two of these horsemen will appear. However, learning how to communicate effectively can prevent them from taking up permanent space in your relationship. I use Gottman’s Couples Method because it has decades of research to support its theories and I have seen it work! If you are recently married, or are thinking about getting engaged, and would like to learn how to prevent arguments or more effectively communicate with your partner, give me a call for a free phone consultation. -Gillian To learn more about John Gottman’s 4 horsemen and their antidotes, watch the clip below: John Gottman’s 4 horsemen video If you would like to read more articles on Gottman’s research, visit his blog here: Gottman Blog *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Beginning Again Posted on August 4, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable. If we dismiss all the criticism, we lose out on important feedback, but if we subject ourselves to the hatefulness, our spirits get crushed. It’s a tightrope, shame resilience is the balance bar, and the safety net below is the one or two people in our lives who can help us reality-check the criticism and cynicism.” – Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW I am worthy. I am worthy of change, of hoping for more. I am worthy even though ______________ told me I wasn’t. What would it take for you to feel worthy? Empowered? Content with who you are, right now? It is easy to fall prey to anxiety or shame and let it dictate your life’s course. Maybe you think you are unworthy because you are “supposed” to be farther along in life, or because you have made mistakes in your past. Sometimes you feel unworthy because you suffered trauma, abuse, or just because you are not ______ enough, whatever that may be. If you notice yourself being overly critical, (using the words “always”, “never” or “should” can often be an indication of this) try to take a step back to rephrase. For example, instead of “I can never get it right!” saying: “This feels overwhelming right now, and I can’t do it all. What I can do is ________”. Another way to take care of yourself is to connect with others in a genuine way. Find someone to talk to who will want to learn about the ways you are unique instead of judging you for your differences. Start where you are, be kind to yourself, and work at your own pace. As the saying goes the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today. Instead of helping us “toughen up” and succeed, being critical of ourselves is often our biggest downfall. We gradually shut down, decreasing our ability to be creative, productive, and successful – to dull the very light within us that others may need to see. The very light that propels us to change and grow. Real life is full of maybes, grey areas and unanswered questions. If we can’t believe and trust in ourselves, it will be difficult to achieve our goals, connect with others, and feel content. We are here today to try again- and what a beautiful beginning. -Gillian If you are hoping to make a change in your life, or would just like more information on counseling in general, please call 512-501-2597. You may schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to ask questions, gain a better understanding of what counseling is like, and decide if it is the right step for you. *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Confronting the Elephant Posted on March 5, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Confronting the Elephant: Attending to your past traumas”The single most important thing that we need today is the courage to look this problem in the face and say, this is real and this is all of us.” -Nadine Burke Harris Suck it up. Stop making excuses. People mean well, but if you have had trauma in your life, these words can be confusing – or harmful to your recovery. And everyone: no matter their socioeconomics, race, sexual orientation or gender, has either experienced a trauma – or knows someone who has. If you have never heard of the ACE study, you are not alone. It does not get much attention, but is important – so much so that pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris designs her healthcare practice, the Center for Youth Wellness, on its principles. ACE stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences and the research conducted by Dr. Vince Felitti at Kaiser and Dr. Bob Anda at the CDC investigates how childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime. You see, it is easy to tell your doctor you have a sore throat, or a broken arm. You have a problem, they have a solution. It is harder to tell your doctor that your mom drinks too much, and is verbally or physically abusive when she does, or that your dad hits your mom. There are only 1o questions on the test, and almost everyone scores at least a 1, but the closer you score to 10, the more likely you are to suffer health consequences … even if you do not turn to drinking, drugging, or risky behaviors as a result of the trauma. Sometimes, we can suffer trauma without psychological or physical backlash. We can understand it and keep a healthy self-concept and move on without help. But sometimes, when we try to “suck it up” – to ignore or push away a traumatic experience, the impact on our mental health and susceptibility to stress-related medical problems actually increases. The elephant gets bigger. The silver lining is that if you take the time to acknowledge your past, you can decrease the effects of it. Answering the questions, and seeking help from a Licensed Professional Counselor or mental health professional can help you to gain an understanding of your past, how it can trigger your stress hormones, understand your needs, and how to use your individual strengths to reduce the trauma’s effect on your decision making and overall health. Confronting this elephant can confront the source- and allow you to heal. Like healing a broken bone, healing the impact of trauma does not happen overnight. It takes time, energy, commitment and strength. However, for many people, the positive changes in relationships, self-esteem, and overall well-being are worth the time and effort. If you are one of the rare people who score a 0 on the test, you can still be involved. You can start a dialogue, and voice the importance of counseling and mental health care so that more people know where to find care- and feel comfortable asking for it. -Gillian Below is the TED talk by Nadine Burke Harris on the subject, and a link to the ACE study. TED video of Nadine Burke Harris: Link to ACE Study: http://www.acestudy.org/yahoo_site_admin/assets/docs/ACE_Calculator-English.127143712.pdf *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Music Therapy Posted on February 15, 2015February 15, 2018 by AspireNB The power of music cannot be underestimated! One resource I always suggest is to build a positive playlist for yourself that you can access in the morning, to motivate you, start your day positively, or to re-orient yourself after a difficult conversation, event or day. Here are a few song ideas to get you started! Joshua Radin, Beautiful Day Alicia Keys, Superwoman & Girl on Fire KT Tunstall, Suddenly I See Josh Grider, Good People Pharrell Williams, Happy The Village People, YMCA Heather Small, Proud Dierks Bentley, Riser Radney Foster, A Little Revival Radiate, Jack Johnson The O’Jays, Love Train Beyonce, Halo & Run the World (Girls) Rachel Platten, Fight Song Mark Ronson & Bruno Mars, Uptown Funk Des’Ree, You Gotta Be Justin Timberlake, Can’t Stop the Feeling! The Trolls Soundtrack Uncle Kracker, Good to Be Me Melissa Etheridge, Message to Myself Travis Tritt, It’s a Great Day to Be Alive Aretha Franklin, Rock Steady Tom Petty, I Won’t Back Down Ain’t No Man, The Avett Brothers The Five Stairsteps, O-o-h Child Charlie Puth, Left Right Left 4 Non Blondes, What’s Up? Rufus Thomas, Barefootin’ Jordin Sparks, One Step at a Time The Friends of Distinction, Grazing in the Grass
High School Powerhaus Posted on January 24, 2015June 11, 2018 by AspireNB High School Powerhaus: A Supportive group for high school students In high school, there are so many decisions to make, peer pressures to avoid, and family expectations to uphold. If you are a high school student who feels overwhelmed at times from expectations from school, family, friends & activities, this group is for you! Sometimes, it seems no one understands the pressures that high school can bring, except other high school students. This group allows high schoolers to talk, vent, and support each other, taking time away from outside opinions, and learning what you truly like & need in your life. Group goals include: Purposefully choosing decisions for myself & my future Successfully managing school assignments, tasks, & expectations Finding positive ways to cope with stress Balancing activities, family, friends, school & work Increasing positive communication with parents regarding your feelings & needs Boundary setting Goal setting Meditation & Relaxation Exercises Meeting like-minded high school students Accepting support & requesting feedback from HS peers in a safe environment Laughing This group meets once a month on Monday evenings. Cost: $40/session This will be a closed group, meaning that once we begin a series, I will not let anyone new into the group. This allows for higher levels of confidentiality and safety. I keep groups small, with no more than 6 participants per group, so that I can easily attend to each member’s needs. For specific dates & times, questions, or to reserve your space, please contact Gillian Amaro, M.Ed., LPC at 512-501-2597.
New Counseling Location! Posted on January 1, 2015February 26, 2016 by AspireNB We are excited to announce that we have a new counseling location here in New Braunfels! 145 Landa Street, New Braunfels TX 78130- a beautiful, historic building close to the plaza downtown. In addition, there is a room just for our counseling groups. We still have a counseling space in San Marcos, however we are slowly moving all clients to the New Braunfels location. All new counseling appointments will be scheduled in New Braunfels at the location above. If you are seeking counseling and want to schedule an appointment, or if you have questions regarding counseling or the counseling process, please feel free to give us a call at 512-501-2597. We offer free phone consultations and are usually able to return your call within 24 hours.
A Mother’s Heart Posted on November 25, 2014December 2, 2018 by AspireNB Empowering Mothers. Building meaningful connections. Raising wholehearted kids. You probably have heard the saying that being a mom is a bit like having your heart walk around outside your body. You may breathe more deeply, love more deeply, but you also worry more intensely. A Mother’s Heart is a support group just for moms, to connect & refuel in a purposeful way so that you can give your best self to your family, work & life. This group is for you if… You are a mom You have been asking for time to relax or renew your spirit but never take it You want to connect more deeply with a smaller group of moms You can commit to attending a 2 hour group session, once a month, for 10 months Over the “semester” of this group you will… BUILD connections with like-minded moms in a safe & supportive environment EMPOWER yourself to acknowledge your strengths and redefine your identity LEARN about positive parenting techniques & postpartum mood changes DISCUSS healthy communication techniques to use with your partner PRACTICE self-care skills, meditation & relaxation exercises A few more details…. Our next “semester” will meet once a month on Wednesday evenings. This is a closed support group, which means that once we begin, I will not let anyone new into the group. This allows for higher levels of confidentiality and safety. In addition, I keep groups small, with no more than 6 participants per group, so that I can wholeheartedly attend to each individual’s requests. This group is meant to support you through your first year postpartum- and build a close & connected village of mothers for you & your family. SPRING 2018 Schedule: Groups will meet once a month, on Wednesday evenings Group will meet for 10 months (10 sessions total) Each member will have access to a private forum to ask questions & express needs or celebrations between group meetings. This forum will be moderated by Gillian. We will begin in February 2019 and end in November 2019. The cost is $50 per session ($500 for all 10 months) Moms of New Braunfels discount accepted for all new/first-time members. To sign up or ask questions, please contact Gillian Amaro, M.Ed, LPC: 512-501-2597