The Season for Self-Care Posted on November 10, 2018November 11, 2018 by AspireNB 40 Self-Care ideas to help you through the holidays ‘Tis the season… for self-care! Holidays can be stressful even when you are excited about all of the festivities, so it should come as no surprise that if you are going through any type of difficulty or crisis, the holiday season will likely be complicated. Many people are struggling with hidden grief, illness, depression, anxiety, financial difficulties, or just increased stress in general. It is normal to feel sad or angry about memories related to the holidays, or to feel triggered by familiar routines, songs, and gatherings that you “should” be enjoying. You might notice tension, dread, or even feel numb, as if you are operating on autopilot. It is important not to guilt or shame ourselves about these feelings but rather acknowledge them, and place a higher importance on caring for ourselves, first. Don’t worry- your ability to care for others will return, but balancing your own system takes priority. *** 40 ways to begin caring for yourself this season Check in with your current feelings, and determine what your biggest need is (use the wiseheart worksheet here) Take a walk outside. Stretch or practice yoga. Try a meditation- the Headspace app is a great place to start. Take a photo of something that makes you smile (bonus if you use that picture as your screensaver on your phone or computer). Hug yourself or someone you love for at least 1 minute. Light a candle and breathe deeply. If negative thoughts arise, acknowledge them, then let them go. Make a list of people you can call if you’re having a rough day – or moment. (BONUS: CALL ONE!) LAUGH Listen to a positive playlist, or make one of your own. Read a new book (BONUS: read an uplifting, spiritual, or motivating book) Pet an animal Smile at a stranger Play a fun board game Dance with reckless abandon Set a healthy boundary State a need you have out loud Create a gratitude journal entry Add one healthy ritual into your daily life Sing loudly without caring who hears you Visit a place you have never been to before Garden or get your hands in some dirt Eat a healthy, veggie-rich meal Drink 1/2 your body weight in ounces today (so if you are 120 lbs, drink at least 60 oz of water) Paint, draw, build, color – allow yourself to be creative for at least 5 minutes Organize one area in your living space Find one way to give to others that also brings YOU joy – and do it Watch a comedy Breathe deeply while reciting a prayer or positive mantra Schedule at least 5 minutes of spontaneous play into your day Try one new thing and don’t think about it or plan it too much Ask for help even if its with something small Think about what you’re especially good at, and do it today Take care of a nagging task that keeps getting ignored Curl up with a blanket and drink a cup of hot lemon water or tea Give some purposeful attention to something you usually ignore Cook or bake a favorite meal/treat Watch the sunrise or sunset Write a letter to someone you are thankful for Do nothing and cross this number off just because you deserve it *** This list is meant to help you begin a self-care routine, and I encourage you to start with this list, note which activities refresh you the most, and add more ideas as you go. It is also important to remember that holiday celebrations can be changed in any way we wish them to be; we only need to take time to decide what those changes look like to us, and communicate those with friends and loved ones. In addition, while self-care is a great start, if you have experienced trauma, grief, or are spending much of your time feeling worried or sad, counseling is an important way to filter out what you need most, and gain coping skills for your specific situation. For more information on self-care basics, click here. Want to join me for FREE parent & tot yoga this holiday season? Click here for more details For weekly inspiration & updates, follow Aspire New Braunfels on instagram & facebook. *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to find insight as they balance their bodies, minds & hearts. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and I offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Aspire New Braunfels on Instagram Aspire New Braunfels on Facebook Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today
Helping our Children with Grief through the Holidays Posted on November 6, 2017May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Grief & the Holidays: Helping our Children & Teens By Gillian Amaro, M.Ed., LPC-S “The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but, you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to.” -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler When a loved one dies, what used to be the most wonderful time of year can suddenly be a harsh reminder that someone you love is no longer with you and your family. There are many different ways to grieve, and so similarly, there are many different ways to observe the holiday season after a loss. One way to start is to have a family discussion that includes- and focuses on – your children. Most likely, the loss of your loved one will demand changes in your holiday routine. Talking about these changes openly will allow all members of your family to share how they connected with their loved one during the holiday season. It also allows everyone to explain why they can’t celebrate in the same way this year– or why they feel it is so important that traditions continue. Sometimes families like to add traditions to honor their loved ones. Remind your family that the focus of this discussion is to listen to each other and support each other, not to force a compromise or decision. As much as possible, try to find ways to incorporate everyone’s wishes. Each child is unique and cannot be expected to experience their grief in the same way as others. They may be sad and talking about their loved one often, or they may be happy and focused on the season alone; both are normal. Reminding your children about this will help them to be more supportive of each other. Though it is a busy time of year, it will be important for you to be flexible. Children’s emotions can change quickly, so try to be patient. They may need a time out from festivities to remember their loved one, even if they (or you) did not think they would need to. Model your feelings about your grief and the holidays with statements like “I am feeling_______. I need _________. Will you ________?” You can find a complete list of feelings & needs here. If you have conflicting feelings, it is ok to say both and explain why. Finally, if you are unable to cope with the holiday season without the help of alcohol or drugs, or if you find yourself unable to have these conversations with your children, seek out help from a licensed counselor. You are grieving too, and if you do not have support, you won’t be able to give your children the support and understanding they need. For books and more information, the Children’s Bereavement Center of South Texas has a great list of resources here: http://cbcst.org/what-we-do/resources/recommended-readings/ *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook