The Season for Self-Care Posted on November 10, 2018November 11, 2018 by AspireNB 40 Self-Care ideas to help you through the holidays ‘Tis the season… for self-care! Holidays can be stressful even when you are excited about all of the festivities, so it should come as no surprise that if you are going through any type of difficulty or crisis, the holiday season will likely be complicated. Many people are struggling with hidden grief, illness, depression, anxiety, financial difficulties, or just increased stress in general. It is normal to feel sad or angry about memories related to the holidays, or to feel triggered by familiar routines, songs, and gatherings that you “should” be enjoying. You might notice tension, dread, or even feel numb, as if you are operating on autopilot. It is important not to guilt or shame ourselves about these feelings but rather acknowledge them, and place a higher importance on caring for ourselves, first. Don’t worry- your ability to care for others will return, but balancing your own system takes priority. *** 40 ways to begin caring for yourself this season Check in with your current feelings, and determine what your biggest need is (use the wiseheart worksheet here) Take a walk outside. Stretch or practice yoga. Try a meditation- the Headspace app is a great place to start. Take a photo of something that makes you smile (bonus if you use that picture as your screensaver on your phone or computer). Hug yourself or someone you love for at least 1 minute. Light a candle and breathe deeply. If negative thoughts arise, acknowledge them, then let them go. Make a list of people you can call if you’re having a rough day – or moment. (BONUS: CALL ONE!) LAUGH Listen to a positive playlist, or make one of your own. Read a new book (BONUS: read an uplifting, spiritual, or motivating book) Pet an animal Smile at a stranger Play a fun board game Dance with reckless abandon Set a healthy boundary State a need you have out loud Create a gratitude journal entry Add one healthy ritual into your daily life Sing loudly without caring who hears you Visit a place you have never been to before Garden or get your hands in some dirt Eat a healthy, veggie-rich meal Drink 1/2 your body weight in ounces today (so if you are 120 lbs, drink at least 60 oz of water) Paint, draw, build, color – allow yourself to be creative for at least 5 minutes Organize one area in your living space Find one way to give to others that also brings YOU joy – and do it Watch a comedy Breathe deeply while reciting a prayer or positive mantra Schedule at least 5 minutes of spontaneous play into your day Try one new thing and don’t think about it or plan it too much Ask for help even if its with something small Think about what you’re especially good at, and do it today Take care of a nagging task that keeps getting ignored Curl up with a blanket and drink a cup of hot lemon water or tea Give some purposeful attention to something you usually ignore Cook or bake a favorite meal/treat Watch the sunrise or sunset Write a letter to someone you are thankful for Do nothing and cross this number off just because you deserve it *** This list is meant to help you begin a self-care routine, and I encourage you to start with this list, note which activities refresh you the most, and add more ideas as you go. It is also important to remember that holiday celebrations can be changed in any way we wish them to be; we only need to take time to decide what those changes look like to us, and communicate those with friends and loved ones. In addition, while self-care is a great start, if you have experienced trauma, grief, or are spending much of your time feeling worried or sad, counseling is an important way to filter out what you need most, and gain coping skills for your specific situation. For more information on self-care basics, click here. Want to join me for FREE parent & tot yoga this holiday season? Click here for more details For weekly inspiration & updates, follow Aspire New Braunfels on instagram & facebook. *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to find insight as they balance their bodies, minds & hearts. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and I offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Aspire New Braunfels on Instagram Aspire New Braunfels on Facebook Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today
Empowered Mothering Series Posted on April 26, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Coming Soon! Empowered Mothering Series at the New Braunfels Library *FREE* 2 part workshop series I am thrilled to host an upcoming series at the New Braunfels Library JUST FOR MOMS! As a counselor, wife & mother of 2, I definitely know the importance of self-care! This 2-part series will help you to better understand yourself, acknowledge & reduce your stress, learn new coping skills, and increase healthy communication- with your partner, your family & your children. This is a great opportunity to not only learn skills that will improve your emotional health, but experience & practice them. See below for more information! WHO: Any mother or female guardian of a child – and moms to be! WHAT: Self-care (June) & healthy communication (July) WHERE: New Braunfels Public Library WHEN: One hour sessions on Tuesday, June 5th & Tuesday, July 10th at 6 PM COST: FREE!!! Goals of June workshop (self-care) include: Learn the definition of self-care & at least one sign that you need more of it Learn how to assess your SUDS or “resting stress rate” Learn 3 simple ways to de-stress Experience short, relaxing guided imagery/meditation Name one person who can be part of your future self-care “team” Goals of July workshop (healthy communication) include: Learn how to assess your own feelings & needs authentically Experience what setting a boundary feels like Learn 3 basics of boundary setting Learn new ways to state your needs, without hurting loved ones Experience short, relaxing guided imagery/meditation Part 1: Tuesday, June 5, 2018 at 6PM (self-care) Part 2: Tuesday, July 10, 2018 at 6PM (healthy communication) Both sessions will last one hour. NOTE: Unfortunately, there will not be childcare available for these sessions. If you have any questions, please contact: Gillian Amaro, LPC-S 512-501-2597 amaro@aspireNB.com *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
The Benefits of Joining a Group Posted on February 16, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn’t have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don’t be afraid to fail.” -Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx When we are kids, we are constantly trying new things, asking questions, and excitedly taking in the world just as we see it with no fears of making mistakes or looking silly. Not wasting time thinking about failing, being vulnerable or embarrassed. And then we change. We usually can’t pinpoint the specific moment when we became worried about being vulnerable, we just know that all of a sudden, it begins to steal our energy. After reading Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly, I realized even more so how being vulnerable is a key component in enjoying and getting the most out of your life. Vulnerability is one of the biggest reasons people hesitate to join a group. If you happen to know that change is more likely in a group setting, this probably makes sense to you. The human brain likes to understand, to reflect, to question & be challenged, but humans don’t always like the process of change. In fact, sometimes it is downright uncomfortable! But hey, its better than being bored, right? 😉 If you are just finding me, you may see that I offer several groups. This is in part, because people seem to like them! But mostly, because I believe in them! Personally, I am a member of several counseling, consultation, networking and supervision groups. I even exercise with a group, because it keeps me more consistent, accountable, challenged, and happy! If you are unsure about joining a group, here are a few reasons why groups are beneficial! 1. You realize you are not alone! “Shame needs 3 things to grow exponentially. Secrecy, silence & judgement. The antidote is empathy. Talk to someone you love, reach out to someone you trust, tell your story.” Because anxiety & depression are directly related to shame, keeping our past trauma, regrets and true feelings inside are the very things that will make it more difficult to “show up” every day. Being part of a group means that you will not only get to tell your story, but hear from others, and gain support in knowing you are not alone. 2 . Time to think We all get busy and seldom schedule purposeful time to reflect on our lives. Support groups can provide a designated, safe space to voice your inner thoughts, question what your best self might look like, and challenge yourself in new ways. When I plan group sessions, I always make sure to include individual activities that encourage reflection. As a bonus, you also get constructive feedback, insight, encouragement, and support! 3. Motivation When you are part of a group, you meet several others who hear your goals – and can encourage you to stay motivated to reach them. Many times, the group setting can give more natural encouragement, motivation, and advice than could ever happen in an individual counseling appointment. 4. Coping Skills Learn new coping skills in an environment where it is safe to practice them! The hardest part of learning a new skill is mastery; getting enough practice to truly feel confident in using it. A support group is a great place to practice using those newfound coping skills and boundaries, and getting helpful feedback from your peers. 5. Growth!! Most of my groups are not centered around a specific problem; instead they are centered around growth, so if you have never been to counseling before, or if you don’t feel you need counseling, one of my support groups can definitely be the place for you! Like a personal training group for your physical wellness, a support group can be a place to set personal goals that you have never been able to achieve on your own! Humans are naturally social beings, even if we need time alone to recharge. How can you connect with others differently, challenge yourself in new ways, see things in a new light? Sometimes the biggest reward is in how you feel when you are being vulnerable, even it means failing… failing energetically, creating space for growth & new opportunities! Click here for more information on the groups I offer. -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Your brain & exercise Posted on November 14, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB I’ve always known that exercise is important, but I recently read through The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb, PhD and was happy to find even more research support for it. The Upward Spiral discusses using neuroscience to reverse the course of depression, one small change at a time – with one of those being exercise. I want to clarify that “exercise” doesn’t have to mean working out like Rocky every day of the week. It simply means MOVING YOUR BODY. This can include throwing a baseball in the backyard, taking your dog for a walk, dancing to music in your kitchen, chasing your toddler into the next room, or even cleaning the house! As always, I encourage you to start where you are and focus on your progress. Maybe when you begin, you are very tired, and the dishes are your exercise. Put on some music, and let yourself move a little extra. The next day, maybe you feel better after the dishes are done, and continue dancing – or take a walk around the block. Start small, but be consistent! Some type of movement every day helps! Alex Korb said in The Upward Spiral that “your brain does not like being idle; it comes with a body, and it wants to use it.” Here are 5 great (brain researched) reasons to get out and run, walk, or dance – listed in his book. The Natural Antidepressant. “Exercise is possibly the most straightforward and powerful way to start an upward spiral. Not only is it easy to understand, but exercise also has many of the same effects on the brain as antidepressant medications and even mimics the buzz of recreational drugs. Yet exercise is natural, it causes more nuanced and targeted brain changes, and its benefits can exceed even those of medication.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Better sleep. “Depression often messes up your sleep patterns, but exercise improves your sleep, making it more restorative for your brain.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. A Stronger Brain. Exercise increases nerve growth factors, such as brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which are like steroids for your brain. BDNF makes your brain stronger, so it’s more resistant to all kinds of problems, not just depression.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Better Concentration “Exercise increases norepinephrine” which helps increase concentration and deep thinking. -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Motivation and Better Decision Making “The orbitofrontal cortex influences motivation and decision making. The dorsolateral prefrontal cortex helps with planning and thinking. The insula modulates pain perception. And the anterior cingulate guides your focus. Amazingly, endorphin signaling in all of these areas is improved by exercise.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. To really boost the effects of exercise, try one of the following: Be purposeful. Make a specific goal for how you want to move- and stick to it. Better yet – make it a “SMART” goal; specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. In addition, PLAN for obstacles. What is the most likely obstacle to this goal? Make a plan for what you when that obstacle happens AHEAD of time, so you don’t have to think about it in the moment. There are always obstacles in life, so planning for them ahead of time can feel very empowering and energizing. Get out! Instead of going to a gym, choose a local trail or park to run or walk in. Even if there’s not a pretty view where you run, just running outside has more mood-boosting benefits than the gym or treadmill. Team Up. This is probably the most important piece! Join a supportive exercise group or gym, partner with a personal trainer, or ask a friend to commit to your exercise plan with you. This helps you stick to your goal – and the socialization also improves your brain’s health. “Humans are a social species- we evolved to survive with each other, and our brains are healthiest when we interact with and feel connected to others” -Alex Korb, PhD., The Upward Spiral Add music. Make a playlist of positive songs that you can listen to during exercise. “Music engages most of the limbic system, including the hippocampus, anterior cingulate, and nucleus accumbens, which is why it can be motivating and can help regulate your emotions. It can also be soothing, lowering blood pressure and reducing stress.” Alex Korb, Ph.D, The Upward Spiral Say thank you! Make a practice of being grateful for your body’s ability to move- and practice saying it every time you move! I hope this has inspired you to get out there and move! If you would like to learn more about the brain and how it is affected by depression and anxiety, please read The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb, Ph.D. -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Beginning Again Posted on August 4, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable. If we dismiss all the criticism, we lose out on important feedback, but if we subject ourselves to the hatefulness, our spirits get crushed. It’s a tightrope, shame resilience is the balance bar, and the safety net below is the one or two people in our lives who can help us reality-check the criticism and cynicism.” – Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW I am worthy. I am worthy of change, of hoping for more. I am worthy even though ______________ told me I wasn’t. What would it take for you to feel worthy? Empowered? Content with who you are, right now? It is easy to fall prey to anxiety or shame and let it dictate your life’s course. Maybe you think you are unworthy because you are “supposed” to be farther along in life, or because you have made mistakes in your past. Sometimes you feel unworthy because you suffered trauma, abuse, or just because you are not ______ enough, whatever that may be. If you notice yourself being overly critical, (using the words “always”, “never” or “should” can often be an indication of this) try to take a step back to rephrase. For example, instead of “I can never get it right!” saying: “This feels overwhelming right now, and I can’t do it all. What I can do is ________”. Another way to take care of yourself is to connect with others in a genuine way. Find someone to talk to who will want to learn about the ways you are unique instead of judging you for your differences. Start where you are, be kind to yourself, and work at your own pace. As the saying goes the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today. Instead of helping us “toughen up” and succeed, being critical of ourselves is often our biggest downfall. We gradually shut down, decreasing our ability to be creative, productive, and successful – to dull the very light within us that others may need to see. The very light that propels us to change and grow. Real life is full of maybes, grey areas and unanswered questions. If we can’t believe and trust in ourselves, it will be difficult to achieve our goals, connect with others, and feel content. We are here today to try again- and what a beautiful beginning. -Gillian If you are hoping to make a change in your life, or would just like more information on counseling in general, please call 512-501-2597. You may schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to ask questions, gain a better understanding of what counseling is like, and decide if it is the right step for you. *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
High School Powerhaus Posted on January 24, 2015June 11, 2018 by AspireNB High School Powerhaus: A Supportive group for high school students In high school, there are so many decisions to make, peer pressures to avoid, and family expectations to uphold. If you are a high school student who feels overwhelmed at times from expectations from school, family, friends & activities, this group is for you! Sometimes, it seems no one understands the pressures that high school can bring, except other high school students. This group allows high schoolers to talk, vent, and support each other, taking time away from outside opinions, and learning what you truly like & need in your life. Group goals include: Purposefully choosing decisions for myself & my future Successfully managing school assignments, tasks, & expectations Finding positive ways to cope with stress Balancing activities, family, friends, school & work Increasing positive communication with parents regarding your feelings & needs Boundary setting Goal setting Meditation & Relaxation Exercises Meeting like-minded high school students Accepting support & requesting feedback from HS peers in a safe environment Laughing This group meets once a month on Monday evenings. Cost: $40/session This will be a closed group, meaning that once we begin a series, I will not let anyone new into the group. This allows for higher levels of confidentiality and safety. I keep groups small, with no more than 6 participants per group, so that I can easily attend to each member’s needs. For specific dates & times, questions, or to reserve your space, please contact Gillian Amaro, M.Ed., LPC at 512-501-2597.