Mastering your Morning Posted on September 10, 2019September 10, 2019 by AspireNB There are countless research studies to support the claim that, if you master your morning, you master your day. The morning process I developed for myself combines 5 key areas. This process can be quick- a total of 5 minutes, or it can take much longer. It all depends on the amount of time you wish to set aside. Deciding how much time you want to devote to this practice is a powerful first step to a morning routine you ENJOY. A morning process will not work if it is not helpful or enjoyable, and you can definitely get as much benefit from 5 minutes as you can from 50 minutes. My biggest tip is to do your morning process BEFORE you pick up your phone or open your computer. This process will still help you to rebound from the “noise” if you forget, but beginning the day with your morning process ensures that you listen to your own voice and inner wisdom first. It gives you the opportunity to decide how you want to show up, providing a powerful foundation for your day. 5 Key Ingredients to a Good Morning 1. BODY: how does your body feel waking up today? How much energy do you have? BONUS: Do you feel strength, or tension, connection or disconnection with your body? How can you acknowledge your body, and your needs, before the day begins? 2. INSPIRATION: State one thing you are grateful for, right now. This directs our brain to find positivity & creativity & creativity in our day, as opposed to negativity & scarcity. BONUS: Read something positive! This could be one line or one chapter from a book, or a daily devotional that is inspiring to you. 3. PRAY: Prayer or meditation can help you to synthesize the inspiration you just took in, and integrate it within your body before the day begins. Again, this can be a short 10 second prayer or a 10 minute meditation: your choice! 4. INTENTION: Set an intention for your day, based on what you NEED today & the state you woke up in (#1), the inspiration you received through your reading & prayer (#2 & 3), and the goals & vision you are working towards in general. Thinking of all these categories, what 1-5 words define your intention for the day? Some examples of popular intentions include: “focus”, “clarify”, “slow down”, “set my boundaries with others”, “don’t work past 6”, “connect with others” or “remember I am powerful”. 5. MOVE! This can as simple as doing 2 pushups, or as intense as a 45 minute sweat session. The important thing is to get a little adrenaline going, signaling that it is now time to begin your day!
The Season for Self-Care Posted on November 10, 2018November 11, 2018 by AspireNB 40 Self-Care ideas to help you through the holidays ‘Tis the season… for self-care! Holidays can be stressful even when you are excited about all of the festivities, so it should come as no surprise that if you are going through any type of difficulty or crisis, the holiday season will likely be complicated. Many people are struggling with hidden grief, illness, depression, anxiety, financial difficulties, or just increased stress in general. It is normal to feel sad or angry about memories related to the holidays, or to feel triggered by familiar routines, songs, and gatherings that you “should” be enjoying. You might notice tension, dread, or even feel numb, as if you are operating on autopilot. It is important not to guilt or shame ourselves about these feelings but rather acknowledge them, and place a higher importance on caring for ourselves, first. Don’t worry- your ability to care for others will return, but balancing your own system takes priority. *** 40 ways to begin caring for yourself this season Check in with your current feelings, and determine what your biggest need is (use the wiseheart worksheet here) Take a walk outside. Stretch or practice yoga. Try a meditation- the Headspace app is a great place to start. Take a photo of something that makes you smile (bonus if you use that picture as your screensaver on your phone or computer). Hug yourself or someone you love for at least 1 minute. Light a candle and breathe deeply. If negative thoughts arise, acknowledge them, then let them go. Make a list of people you can call if you’re having a rough day – or moment. (BONUS: CALL ONE!) LAUGH Listen to a positive playlist, or make one of your own. Read a new book (BONUS: read an uplifting, spiritual, or motivating book) Pet an animal Smile at a stranger Play a fun board game Dance with reckless abandon Set a healthy boundary State a need you have out loud Create a gratitude journal entry Add one healthy ritual into your daily life Sing loudly without caring who hears you Visit a place you have never been to before Garden or get your hands in some dirt Eat a healthy, veggie-rich meal Drink 1/2 your body weight in ounces today (so if you are 120 lbs, drink at least 60 oz of water) Paint, draw, build, color – allow yourself to be creative for at least 5 minutes Organize one area in your living space Find one way to give to others that also brings YOU joy – and do it Watch a comedy Breathe deeply while reciting a prayer or positive mantra Schedule at least 5 minutes of spontaneous play into your day Try one new thing and don’t think about it or plan it too much Ask for help even if its with something small Think about what you’re especially good at, and do it today Take care of a nagging task that keeps getting ignored Curl up with a blanket and drink a cup of hot lemon water or tea Give some purposeful attention to something you usually ignore Cook or bake a favorite meal/treat Watch the sunrise or sunset Write a letter to someone you are thankful for Do nothing and cross this number off just because you deserve it *** This list is meant to help you begin a self-care routine, and I encourage you to start with this list, note which activities refresh you the most, and add more ideas as you go. It is also important to remember that holiday celebrations can be changed in any way we wish them to be; we only need to take time to decide what those changes look like to us, and communicate those with friends and loved ones. In addition, while self-care is a great start, if you have experienced trauma, grief, or are spending much of your time feeling worried or sad, counseling is an important way to filter out what you need most, and gain coping skills for your specific situation. For more information on self-care basics, click here. Want to join me for FREE parent & tot yoga this holiday season? Click here for more details For weekly inspiration & updates, follow Aspire New Braunfels on instagram & facebook. *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to find insight as they balance their bodies, minds & hearts. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and I offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Aspire New Braunfels on Instagram Aspire New Braunfels on Facebook Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today
What is Self-Care, Anyway? Posted on May 18, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Self-care has been getting more press lately, but it still might sound confusing. The definition of self-care, according to Christine Meinecke, Ph.D, is “choosing behaviors that balance the effects of emotional and physical stressors.” Self-care is important for everyone, and a pre-requisite for connecting in a meaningful way. If you are a healer of any kind (mothering, fathering, teaching and caregiving definitely count!) it is important to be more purposeful about your own self-care, especially if you feel you lack the time. Self-care is the first step to standing your sacred ground, and creating better, more empowered connections in – and outside of – your work. Here are 4 helpful areas to keep in mind when adding a self-care routine into your life: 1) Write down 5 reasons to care for YOU, EVEN WHEN _______________. In other words, what makes YOU unique, helpful, inspiring? When you are at your best, in your “zone” what do you look like? These will be great reminders for why self-care rituals & breaks are important; even when ________ (meetings, state tests, playoffs, deadlines, etc…) 2) Begin to pay attention to when you need more self-care, and what those signs are. What do you look like, sound like, feel like when you need more self-care (this is your “shadow self”; the traits you might hate to admit you have, but that are there -just simply part of being a human!). 3) Find your team. It is important to know who is in your inner circle, who you can count on to be on your self-care team. Whether they are family or friends, these are YOUR people, who you can count on when you are stuck. Aim for at least 3-5, and write their phone numbers down too. 4) Try lots of different types of self-care, and find what works best for you. When you find things that work well, make a note of what they are- and ideally, schedule them in your calendar! Want ideas? Here are several healthy self-care options: Eating healthfully Box Breathing Exercise Getting enough sleep Acknowledging our needs Setting healthy boundaries Making a plan for a goal Grounding yourself in the present moment Connecting with others Listening to uplifting music Laughing Playing games with friends Saying no to extra requests Counseling Understanding needs you might have at work, and how to create rituals in your day to meet those needs Leaving work at work Spending time outside Scheduling the week ahead on Sunday mornings Reading for fun Gardening Dancing Watching a funny movie with a friend Singing Cooking Baking Joining a support group Taking a trip/vacation Getting a massage Watching a sunset Playing an instrument Meditation & prayer Petting an animal Lighting candles Smiling Assess your SUDS Do your chores (yes, really!) Keeping letters & notes from former bosses or employees to remind you of your strengths Thanks for reading! -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Empowered Mothering Series Posted on April 26, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Coming Soon! Empowered Mothering Series at the New Braunfels Library *FREE* 2 part workshop series I am thrilled to host an upcoming series at the New Braunfels Library JUST FOR MOMS! As a counselor, wife & mother of 2, I definitely know the importance of self-care! This 2-part series will help you to better understand yourself, acknowledge & reduce your stress, learn new coping skills, and increase healthy communication- with your partner, your family & your children. This is a great opportunity to not only learn skills that will improve your emotional health, but experience & practice them. See below for more information! WHO: Any mother or female guardian of a child – and moms to be! WHAT: Self-care (June) & healthy communication (July) WHERE: New Braunfels Public Library WHEN: One hour sessions on Tuesday, June 5th & Tuesday, July 10th at 6 PM COST: FREE!!! Goals of June workshop (self-care) include: Learn the definition of self-care & at least one sign that you need more of it Learn how to assess your SUDS or “resting stress rate” Learn 3 simple ways to de-stress Experience short, relaxing guided imagery/meditation Name one person who can be part of your future self-care “team” Goals of July workshop (healthy communication) include: Learn how to assess your own feelings & needs authentically Experience what setting a boundary feels like Learn 3 basics of boundary setting Learn new ways to state your needs, without hurting loved ones Experience short, relaxing guided imagery/meditation Part 1: Tuesday, June 5, 2018 at 6PM (self-care) Part 2: Tuesday, July 10, 2018 at 6PM (healthy communication) Both sessions will last one hour. NOTE: Unfortunately, there will not be childcare available for these sessions. If you have any questions, please contact: Gillian Amaro, LPC-S 512-501-2597 amaro@aspireNB.com *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Counseling Chaos Posted on November 10, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.” (unknown) Stress. We all feel it and at times, we all are negatively affected by it. It’s easy to think that to escape it, we have to move to a remote island, however health psychologist Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. feels strongly that as far as our health is concerned, stress is only as bad as our attitude about it. Better yet, if we use our stress as a way to strengthen our connection with others, we can triumph over it. What a relief to know that we don’t have to live life in a remote cabin in the woods to escape the negative health effects of stress! When stress is caused by a unique situation such as sudden or lingering trauma, it is even more important to reach out for help. Trauma brings on a heightened state, so even if you usually have good coping skills, a traumatic event can simply be too much to handle on your own. Although you may want to “stay strong” or “deal with it” the best way to do both of those things is to connect with others and ask for help. In order to survive, we have to reach out – through counseling, friends, neighbors, family, your church — or all of the above. No matter how we initially cope, if we fail to address stress and its impact on our lives, we can find ourselves feeling numb or “waiting” to live our lives fully. As Kelly McGonigal states, stress is not the enemy… it can even propel us to set and accomplish bigger goals. It comes from all different sources, but it is something we have to acknowledge and understand- with the help of others we trust. We cannot always control what happens in life, but we can choose how and what we react to, and learn ways to refocus our energy and define our future. Alex Korb, Ph.D., in his book The Upward Spiral, explains that when we are stressed, we act more out of habit than intention. He explains that the increased habitual behavior we experience when stressed is “caused by changes in processing within the habitual dorsal striatum. In addition, the stress caused the decision-making orbitofrontal cortex to actually shrink”. In other words, once we take time to relax and take care of our stress in a positive way, the orbitofrontal cortex returns to its normal size. This is another reason why connection is so important – when we’re stressed, we tend to forget the importance of taking care of ourselves, and friends can help us remember to do that. For example, setting a weekly or daily routine of exercising with a friend, setting a goal and asking someone to help keep you accountable to it, meeting a friend for yoga, asking for help and expressing your gratitude when someone accepts, smiling at others, taking a walk outside with a coworker or just laughing can all help you increase positive connections and reduce your stress. If you are struggling to begin some of these steps or feel there are other things you need to address, consider calling a professional counselor. Counseling can help us quiet negative thoughts in our mind and face them bravely, by connecting and healing with a trusted professional. It might be scary, but it can also be the first step to reclaiming your life from stress. Instead of making decisions out of fear and doubt, you can work towards making decisions that truly define what you want and where you are going. Learning to find peace in the middle; experiencing healing, peace, and insight despite facing a stressful world. You may not be able to change the world, but you can start with caring for yourself. -Gillian If you would like help sifting through stress in your life, or would like more information on counseling in general, please call 512-501-2597. You may schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to ask questions, gain a better understanding of what counseling is like, and decide if it is the right step for you. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor located in New Braunfels, TX and offer individual counseling, couples counseling, group counseling, and workshops. TED talk by Kelly McGonigal: *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Beginning Again Posted on August 4, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable. If we dismiss all the criticism, we lose out on important feedback, but if we subject ourselves to the hatefulness, our spirits get crushed. It’s a tightrope, shame resilience is the balance bar, and the safety net below is the one or two people in our lives who can help us reality-check the criticism and cynicism.” – Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW I am worthy. I am worthy of change, of hoping for more. I am worthy even though ______________ told me I wasn’t. What would it take for you to feel worthy? Empowered? Content with who you are, right now? It is easy to fall prey to anxiety or shame and let it dictate your life’s course. Maybe you think you are unworthy because you are “supposed” to be farther along in life, or because you have made mistakes in your past. Sometimes you feel unworthy because you suffered trauma, abuse, or just because you are not ______ enough, whatever that may be. If you notice yourself being overly critical, (using the words “always”, “never” or “should” can often be an indication of this) try to take a step back to rephrase. For example, instead of “I can never get it right!” saying: “This feels overwhelming right now, and I can’t do it all. What I can do is ________”. Another way to take care of yourself is to connect with others in a genuine way. Find someone to talk to who will want to learn about the ways you are unique instead of judging you for your differences. Start where you are, be kind to yourself, and work at your own pace. As the saying goes the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today. Instead of helping us “toughen up” and succeed, being critical of ourselves is often our biggest downfall. We gradually shut down, decreasing our ability to be creative, productive, and successful – to dull the very light within us that others may need to see. The very light that propels us to change and grow. Real life is full of maybes, grey areas and unanswered questions. If we can’t believe and trust in ourselves, it will be difficult to achieve our goals, connect with others, and feel content. We are here today to try again- and what a beautiful beginning. -Gillian If you are hoping to make a change in your life, or would just like more information on counseling in general, please call 512-501-2597. You may schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to ask questions, gain a better understanding of what counseling is like, and decide if it is the right step for you. *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
High School Powerhaus Posted on January 24, 2015June 11, 2018 by AspireNB High School Powerhaus: A Supportive group for high school students In high school, there are so many decisions to make, peer pressures to avoid, and family expectations to uphold. If you are a high school student who feels overwhelmed at times from expectations from school, family, friends & activities, this group is for you! Sometimes, it seems no one understands the pressures that high school can bring, except other high school students. This group allows high schoolers to talk, vent, and support each other, taking time away from outside opinions, and learning what you truly like & need in your life. Group goals include: Purposefully choosing decisions for myself & my future Successfully managing school assignments, tasks, & expectations Finding positive ways to cope with stress Balancing activities, family, friends, school & work Increasing positive communication with parents regarding your feelings & needs Boundary setting Goal setting Meditation & Relaxation Exercises Meeting like-minded high school students Accepting support & requesting feedback from HS peers in a safe environment Laughing This group meets once a month on Monday evenings. Cost: $40/session This will be a closed group, meaning that once we begin a series, I will not let anyone new into the group. This allows for higher levels of confidentiality and safety. I keep groups small, with no more than 6 participants per group, so that I can easily attend to each member’s needs. For specific dates & times, questions, or to reserve your space, please contact Gillian Amaro, M.Ed., LPC at 512-501-2597.
Senior Project Posted on November 15, 2014June 11, 2018 by AspireNB Calling All Seniors! Most high school seniors feel like their last year in high school is one life changing decision after another, and so many “last times” that it can get overwhelming fast. College choices, scholarships, forms, relationships, leaving friends behind, attending homecoming, clubs, prom…. You may feel like graduation can’t come soon enough one day, and the next day you can’t stop worrying about how little time you have. It may even feel as though in every area in your life, you are constantly having to prove yourself. Getting through your senior year is a bit like learning to ride a bike without the training wheels. Once you get moving, it will seem natural & you’ll never look back. But in the meantime, you’ll need a lot of love, support, trust… and maybe a push or two. This group is specifically for high school seniors who want guidance through their senior year, in a way that is hard to find within your typical high school routine. We will meet once a month for the whole year and will talk, vent, offer support, and practice coping skills that will help you as you transition to your next step in life. I truly love working with high school seniors, and enjoy incorporating any music, art, or writing that helps you to express your experiences. In addition to specific requests from group members we will address: Reducing overwhelm & anxiety Accepting support & requesting feedback from your peers Self-care skills Meditation & relaxation exercises Healthy communication strategies Boundary setting Articulating & fulfilling individual needs Goal setting Feeling more empowered in your life The fee will be $40/session, and we will meet once a month on Monday evenings. This is a closed group, which means that once we begin, I will not let anyone new into the group. This allows for higher levels of confidentiality and safety. I keep groups small, with no more than 5 participants per group, so that I can easily attend to each member’s needs. To sign up or ask questions, please contact Gillian Amaro, M.Ed., LPC at 512-501-2597
Energetic Failure Posted on October 4, 2014May 18, 2018 by AspireNB The Benefits of Energetic Failure By Gillian Amaro “My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn’t have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don’t be afraid to fail.” -Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx Being vulnerable. To me, that is what Sara is talking about here. I would like to add the word energetic to this quote – excited failing. We are not talking about the kind of failure where your job has run you down, and you start doing terrible work because you don’t care. That is not energetic failure. We are talking about the type of failure where you have had 5 great new ideas that are really thinking outside the box. They all fail, but you gained energy from taking the time to be creative. You try one more time. When we are kids, we are constantly trying new things, asking questions, and excitedly taking in the world just as we see it with no fears of looking silly. And then we change. And it seems that we can’t always pinpoint the specific moment when we became worried about being vulnerable. After reading Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly, I realized even more so how being vulnerable is a key component in enjoying and getting the most out of your life. I recently wrote a letter to an acquaintance thanking her for insight on a particular situation. I had talked with her several times, but we were not particularly close. Even though she had inspired me, I almost did not send it. I thought, maybe this is too personal, too many details to share, maybe I should just say “thanks”- and leave it at that. What if she thinks _________? Many words were inserted into that blank space. I decided to send it anyway. It felt genuine and I listened to that. She called me back with many more questions than I had ever imagined. It had energized her, and in turn, she wanted to offer even more insight and ideas. A new friendship was made. This is what life is about. How can you connect with others differently, challenge yourself in new ways, see things in a new light? Sometimes the biggest reward is in how you feel when you are being vulnerable, even failing – but failing energetically! Start small or start big, but get started… what dreams or ideas have you been ignoring? How are you willing to energetically fail this week? -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook