Mastering your Morning Posted on September 10, 2019September 10, 2019 by AspireNB There are countless research studies to support the claim that, if you master your morning, you master your day. The morning process I developed for myself combines 5 key areas. This process can be quick- a total of 5 minutes, or it can take much longer. It all depends on the amount of time you wish to set aside. Deciding how much time you want to devote to this practice is a powerful first step to a morning routine you ENJOY. A morning process will not work if it is not helpful or enjoyable, and you can definitely get as much benefit from 5 minutes as you can from 50 minutes. My biggest tip is to do your morning process BEFORE you pick up your phone or open your computer. This process will still help you to rebound from the “noise” if you forget, but beginning the day with your morning process ensures that you listen to your own voice and inner wisdom first. It gives you the opportunity to decide how you want to show up, providing a powerful foundation for your day. 5 Key Ingredients to a Good Morning 1. BODY: how does your body feel waking up today? How much energy do you have? BONUS: Do you feel strength, or tension, connection or disconnection with your body? How can you acknowledge your body, and your needs, before the day begins? 2. INSPIRATION: State one thing you are grateful for, right now. This directs our brain to find positivity & creativity & creativity in our day, as opposed to negativity & scarcity. BONUS: Read something positive! This could be one line or one chapter from a book, or a daily devotional that is inspiring to you. 3. PRAY: Prayer or meditation can help you to synthesize the inspiration you just took in, and integrate it within your body before the day begins. Again, this can be a short 10 second prayer or a 10 minute meditation: your choice! 4. INTENTION: Set an intention for your day, based on what you NEED today & the state you woke up in (#1), the inspiration you received through your reading & prayer (#2 & 3), and the goals & vision you are working towards in general. Thinking of all these categories, what 1-5 words define your intention for the day? Some examples of popular intentions include: “focus”, “clarify”, “slow down”, “set my boundaries with others”, “don’t work past 6”, “connect with others” or “remember I am powerful”. 5. MOVE! This can as simple as doing 2 pushups, or as intense as a 45 minute sweat session. The important thing is to get a little adrenaline going, signaling that it is now time to begin your day!
The Season for Self-Care Posted on November 10, 2018November 11, 2018 by AspireNB 40 Self-Care ideas to help you through the holidays ‘Tis the season… for self-care! Holidays can be stressful even when you are excited about all of the festivities, so it should come as no surprise that if you are going through any type of difficulty or crisis, the holiday season will likely be complicated. Many people are struggling with hidden grief, illness, depression, anxiety, financial difficulties, or just increased stress in general. It is normal to feel sad or angry about memories related to the holidays, or to feel triggered by familiar routines, songs, and gatherings that you “should” be enjoying. You might notice tension, dread, or even feel numb, as if you are operating on autopilot. It is important not to guilt or shame ourselves about these feelings but rather acknowledge them, and place a higher importance on caring for ourselves, first. Don’t worry- your ability to care for others will return, but balancing your own system takes priority. *** 40 ways to begin caring for yourself this season Check in with your current feelings, and determine what your biggest need is (use the wiseheart worksheet here) Take a walk outside. Stretch or practice yoga. Try a meditation- the Headspace app is a great place to start. Take a photo of something that makes you smile (bonus if you use that picture as your screensaver on your phone or computer). Hug yourself or someone you love for at least 1 minute. Light a candle and breathe deeply. If negative thoughts arise, acknowledge them, then let them go. Make a list of people you can call if you’re having a rough day – or moment. (BONUS: CALL ONE!) LAUGH Listen to a positive playlist, or make one of your own. Read a new book (BONUS: read an uplifting, spiritual, or motivating book) Pet an animal Smile at a stranger Play a fun board game Dance with reckless abandon Set a healthy boundary State a need you have out loud Create a gratitude journal entry Add one healthy ritual into your daily life Sing loudly without caring who hears you Visit a place you have never been to before Garden or get your hands in some dirt Eat a healthy, veggie-rich meal Drink 1/2 your body weight in ounces today (so if you are 120 lbs, drink at least 60 oz of water) Paint, draw, build, color – allow yourself to be creative for at least 5 minutes Organize one area in your living space Find one way to give to others that also brings YOU joy – and do it Watch a comedy Breathe deeply while reciting a prayer or positive mantra Schedule at least 5 minutes of spontaneous play into your day Try one new thing and don’t think about it or plan it too much Ask for help even if its with something small Think about what you’re especially good at, and do it today Take care of a nagging task that keeps getting ignored Curl up with a blanket and drink a cup of hot lemon water or tea Give some purposeful attention to something you usually ignore Cook or bake a favorite meal/treat Watch the sunrise or sunset Write a letter to someone you are thankful for Do nothing and cross this number off just because you deserve it *** This list is meant to help you begin a self-care routine, and I encourage you to start with this list, note which activities refresh you the most, and add more ideas as you go. It is also important to remember that holiday celebrations can be changed in any way we wish them to be; we only need to take time to decide what those changes look like to us, and communicate those with friends and loved ones. In addition, while self-care is a great start, if you have experienced trauma, grief, or are spending much of your time feeling worried or sad, counseling is an important way to filter out what you need most, and gain coping skills for your specific situation. For more information on self-care basics, click here. Want to join me for FREE parent & tot yoga this holiday season? Click here for more details For weekly inspiration & updates, follow Aspire New Braunfels on instagram & facebook. *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to find insight as they balance their bodies, minds & hearts. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and I offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Aspire New Braunfels on Instagram Aspire New Braunfels on Facebook Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today
Building Boundaries Posted on August 1, 2018December 2, 2018 by AspireNB A supportive group for women interested in setting healthy boundaries. If you are a nurturer, a perfectionist, a workaholic, or a peacemaker, this group may be for you! You might be thinking, I’ve heard that word before. But, what really IS a boundary?! “A boundary is anything that helps to differentiate you from someone else or shows where you begin and end” (Cloud & Townsend, p. 35). In this group, we will explore our personalities, and learn basic boundary skills. This group is part support group, part psycho-education, and part book club. In my experience, most of the women I know have difficulty setting boundaries in one way or another. Together, we will learn what boundaries are, as well as when, where, and how they can happen, and the importance of setting boundaries. We will also explore our own needs and feelings around boundaries, supporting each other along the way. We will use the book “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. Group sessions will follow this book in a purposeful manner, and will also include: Supportive & experiential group activities Accepting support & requesting feedback from your peers Meditation & relaxation exercises Healthy communication strategies SPRING 2019 Schedule: We will begin in February 2019 and end in November 2019. Groups will meet once a month, on Wednesday afternoons Group will meet for 10 months (10 sessions total) We will begin in February 2019 and end in November 2019. The cost is $50 per 2 hour session ($500 for all 10 months) Moms of New Braunfels discount accepted for all new/first-time members. To sign up or ask questions, please contact Gillian Amaro, M.Ed, LPC: 512-501-2597 Still unsure? Here are a few more excerpts from the book, regarding how boundaries affect us: “Each of us has different desires and wants, dreams and wishes, goals and plans, hungers and thirsts- but few of us are satisfied. One reason is that we lack the internal structure that boundaries provide to enable us to define and then take the specific steps necessary to reach our goals.” (p. 48-49) “We need to claim our hearts as our property and work on weaknesses, whether we are weak receiving, or weak giving, love. Doing so will open up life to us.” (p. 49-50) “Feelings, attitudes and beliefs, behaviors, choices, values, limits, talents, thoughts, desires, and love – all of these lie within our boundaries. We therefore need to take responsibility for all of these areas of our souls.”
What is Self-Care, Anyway? Posted on May 18, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Self-care has been getting more press lately, but it still might sound confusing. The definition of self-care, according to Christine Meinecke, Ph.D, is “choosing behaviors that balance the effects of emotional and physical stressors.” Self-care is important for everyone, and a pre-requisite for connecting in a meaningful way. If you are a healer of any kind (mothering, fathering, teaching and caregiving definitely count!) it is important to be more purposeful about your own self-care, especially if you feel you lack the time. Self-care is the first step to standing your sacred ground, and creating better, more empowered connections in – and outside of – your work. Here are 4 helpful areas to keep in mind when adding a self-care routine into your life: 1) Write down 5 reasons to care for YOU, EVEN WHEN _______________. In other words, what makes YOU unique, helpful, inspiring? When you are at your best, in your “zone” what do you look like? These will be great reminders for why self-care rituals & breaks are important; even when ________ (meetings, state tests, playoffs, deadlines, etc…) 2) Begin to pay attention to when you need more self-care, and what those signs are. What do you look like, sound like, feel like when you need more self-care (this is your “shadow self”; the traits you might hate to admit you have, but that are there -just simply part of being a human!). 3) Find your team. It is important to know who is in your inner circle, who you can count on to be on your self-care team. Whether they are family or friends, these are YOUR people, who you can count on when you are stuck. Aim for at least 3-5, and write their phone numbers down too. 4) Try lots of different types of self-care, and find what works best for you. When you find things that work well, make a note of what they are- and ideally, schedule them in your calendar! Want ideas? Here are several healthy self-care options: Eating healthfully Box Breathing Exercise Getting enough sleep Acknowledging our needs Setting healthy boundaries Making a plan for a goal Grounding yourself in the present moment Connecting with others Listening to uplifting music Laughing Playing games with friends Saying no to extra requests Counseling Understanding needs you might have at work, and how to create rituals in your day to meet those needs Leaving work at work Spending time outside Scheduling the week ahead on Sunday mornings Reading for fun Gardening Dancing Watching a funny movie with a friend Singing Cooking Baking Joining a support group Taking a trip/vacation Getting a massage Watching a sunset Playing an instrument Meditation & prayer Petting an animal Lighting candles Smiling Assess your SUDS Do your chores (yes, really!) Keeping letters & notes from former bosses or employees to remind you of your strengths Thanks for reading! -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Empowered Mothering Series Posted on April 26, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB Coming Soon! Empowered Mothering Series at the New Braunfels Library *FREE* 2 part workshop series I am thrilled to host an upcoming series at the New Braunfels Library JUST FOR MOMS! As a counselor, wife & mother of 2, I definitely know the importance of self-care! This 2-part series will help you to better understand yourself, acknowledge & reduce your stress, learn new coping skills, and increase healthy communication- with your partner, your family & your children. This is a great opportunity to not only learn skills that will improve your emotional health, but experience & practice them. See below for more information! WHO: Any mother or female guardian of a child – and moms to be! WHAT: Self-care (June) & healthy communication (July) WHERE: New Braunfels Public Library WHEN: One hour sessions on Tuesday, June 5th & Tuesday, July 10th at 6 PM COST: FREE!!! Goals of June workshop (self-care) include: Learn the definition of self-care & at least one sign that you need more of it Learn how to assess your SUDS or “resting stress rate” Learn 3 simple ways to de-stress Experience short, relaxing guided imagery/meditation Name one person who can be part of your future self-care “team” Goals of July workshop (healthy communication) include: Learn how to assess your own feelings & needs authentically Experience what setting a boundary feels like Learn 3 basics of boundary setting Learn new ways to state your needs, without hurting loved ones Experience short, relaxing guided imagery/meditation Part 1: Tuesday, June 5, 2018 at 6PM (self-care) Part 2: Tuesday, July 10, 2018 at 6PM (healthy communication) Both sessions will last one hour. NOTE: Unfortunately, there will not be childcare available for these sessions. If you have any questions, please contact: Gillian Amaro, LPC-S 512-501-2597 amaro@aspireNB.com *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
The Benefits of Joining a Group Posted on February 16, 2018May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn’t have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don’t be afraid to fail.” -Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx When we are kids, we are constantly trying new things, asking questions, and excitedly taking in the world just as we see it with no fears of making mistakes or looking silly. Not wasting time thinking about failing, being vulnerable or embarrassed. And then we change. We usually can’t pinpoint the specific moment when we became worried about being vulnerable, we just know that all of a sudden, it begins to steal our energy. After reading Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly, I realized even more so how being vulnerable is a key component in enjoying and getting the most out of your life. Vulnerability is one of the biggest reasons people hesitate to join a group. If you happen to know that change is more likely in a group setting, this probably makes sense to you. The human brain likes to understand, to reflect, to question & be challenged, but humans don’t always like the process of change. In fact, sometimes it is downright uncomfortable! But hey, its better than being bored, right? 😉 If you are just finding me, you may see that I offer several groups. This is in part, because people seem to like them! But mostly, because I believe in them! Personally, I am a member of several counseling, consultation, networking and supervision groups. I even exercise with a group, because it keeps me more consistent, accountable, challenged, and happy! If you are unsure about joining a group, here are a few reasons why groups are beneficial! 1. You realize you are not alone! “Shame needs 3 things to grow exponentially. Secrecy, silence & judgement. The antidote is empathy. Talk to someone you love, reach out to someone you trust, tell your story.” Because anxiety & depression are directly related to shame, keeping our past trauma, regrets and true feelings inside are the very things that will make it more difficult to “show up” every day. Being part of a group means that you will not only get to tell your story, but hear from others, and gain support in knowing you are not alone. 2 . Time to think We all get busy and seldom schedule purposeful time to reflect on our lives. Support groups can provide a designated, safe space to voice your inner thoughts, question what your best self might look like, and challenge yourself in new ways. When I plan group sessions, I always make sure to include individual activities that encourage reflection. As a bonus, you also get constructive feedback, insight, encouragement, and support! 3. Motivation When you are part of a group, you meet several others who hear your goals – and can encourage you to stay motivated to reach them. Many times, the group setting can give more natural encouragement, motivation, and advice than could ever happen in an individual counseling appointment. 4. Coping Skills Learn new coping skills in an environment where it is safe to practice them! The hardest part of learning a new skill is mastery; getting enough practice to truly feel confident in using it. A support group is a great place to practice using those newfound coping skills and boundaries, and getting helpful feedback from your peers. 5. Growth!! Most of my groups are not centered around a specific problem; instead they are centered around growth, so if you have never been to counseling before, or if you don’t feel you need counseling, one of my support groups can definitely be the place for you! Like a personal training group for your physical wellness, a support group can be a place to set personal goals that you have never been able to achieve on your own! Humans are naturally social beings, even if we need time alone to recharge. How can you connect with others differently, challenge yourself in new ways, see things in a new light? Sometimes the biggest reward is in how you feel when you are being vulnerable, even it means failing… failing energetically, creating space for growth & new opportunities! Click here for more information on the groups I offer. -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Your brain & exercise Posted on November 14, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB I’ve always known that exercise is important, but I recently read through The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb, PhD and was happy to find even more research support for it. The Upward Spiral discusses using neuroscience to reverse the course of depression, one small change at a time – with one of those being exercise. I want to clarify that “exercise” doesn’t have to mean working out like Rocky every day of the week. It simply means MOVING YOUR BODY. This can include throwing a baseball in the backyard, taking your dog for a walk, dancing to music in your kitchen, chasing your toddler into the next room, or even cleaning the house! As always, I encourage you to start where you are and focus on your progress. Maybe when you begin, you are very tired, and the dishes are your exercise. Put on some music, and let yourself move a little extra. The next day, maybe you feel better after the dishes are done, and continue dancing – or take a walk around the block. Start small, but be consistent! Some type of movement every day helps! Alex Korb said in The Upward Spiral that “your brain does not like being idle; it comes with a body, and it wants to use it.” Here are 5 great (brain researched) reasons to get out and run, walk, or dance – listed in his book. The Natural Antidepressant. “Exercise is possibly the most straightforward and powerful way to start an upward spiral. Not only is it easy to understand, but exercise also has many of the same effects on the brain as antidepressant medications and even mimics the buzz of recreational drugs. Yet exercise is natural, it causes more nuanced and targeted brain changes, and its benefits can exceed even those of medication.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Better sleep. “Depression often messes up your sleep patterns, but exercise improves your sleep, making it more restorative for your brain.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. A Stronger Brain. Exercise increases nerve growth factors, such as brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which are like steroids for your brain. BDNF makes your brain stronger, so it’s more resistant to all kinds of problems, not just depression.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Better Concentration “Exercise increases norepinephrine” which helps increase concentration and deep thinking. -Alex Korb, Ph.D. Motivation and Better Decision Making “The orbitofrontal cortex influences motivation and decision making. The dorsolateral prefrontal cortex helps with planning and thinking. The insula modulates pain perception. And the anterior cingulate guides your focus. Amazingly, endorphin signaling in all of these areas is improved by exercise.” -Alex Korb, Ph.D. To really boost the effects of exercise, try one of the following: Be purposeful. Make a specific goal for how you want to move- and stick to it. Better yet – make it a “SMART” goal; specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. In addition, PLAN for obstacles. What is the most likely obstacle to this goal? Make a plan for what you when that obstacle happens AHEAD of time, so you don’t have to think about it in the moment. There are always obstacles in life, so planning for them ahead of time can feel very empowering and energizing. Get out! Instead of going to a gym, choose a local trail or park to run or walk in. Even if there’s not a pretty view where you run, just running outside has more mood-boosting benefits than the gym or treadmill. Team Up. This is probably the most important piece! Join a supportive exercise group or gym, partner with a personal trainer, or ask a friend to commit to your exercise plan with you. This helps you stick to your goal – and the socialization also improves your brain’s health. “Humans are a social species- we evolved to survive with each other, and our brains are healthiest when we interact with and feel connected to others” -Alex Korb, PhD., The Upward Spiral Add music. Make a playlist of positive songs that you can listen to during exercise. “Music engages most of the limbic system, including the hippocampus, anterior cingulate, and nucleus accumbens, which is why it can be motivating and can help regulate your emotions. It can also be soothing, lowering blood pressure and reducing stress.” Alex Korb, Ph.D, The Upward Spiral Say thank you! Make a practice of being grateful for your body’s ability to move- and practice saying it every time you move! I hope this has inspired you to get out there and move! If you would like to learn more about the brain and how it is affected by depression and anxiety, please read The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb, Ph.D. -Gillian *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Counseling Chaos Posted on November 10, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.” (unknown) Stress. We all feel it and at times, we all are negatively affected by it. It’s easy to think that to escape it, we have to move to a remote island, however health psychologist Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. feels strongly that as far as our health is concerned, stress is only as bad as our attitude about it. Better yet, if we use our stress as a way to strengthen our connection with others, we can triumph over it. What a relief to know that we don’t have to live life in a remote cabin in the woods to escape the negative health effects of stress! When stress is caused by a unique situation such as sudden or lingering trauma, it is even more important to reach out for help. Trauma brings on a heightened state, so even if you usually have good coping skills, a traumatic event can simply be too much to handle on your own. Although you may want to “stay strong” or “deal with it” the best way to do both of those things is to connect with others and ask for help. In order to survive, we have to reach out – through counseling, friends, neighbors, family, your church — or all of the above. No matter how we initially cope, if we fail to address stress and its impact on our lives, we can find ourselves feeling numb or “waiting” to live our lives fully. As Kelly McGonigal states, stress is not the enemy… it can even propel us to set and accomplish bigger goals. It comes from all different sources, but it is something we have to acknowledge and understand- with the help of others we trust. We cannot always control what happens in life, but we can choose how and what we react to, and learn ways to refocus our energy and define our future. Alex Korb, Ph.D., in his book The Upward Spiral, explains that when we are stressed, we act more out of habit than intention. He explains that the increased habitual behavior we experience when stressed is “caused by changes in processing within the habitual dorsal striatum. In addition, the stress caused the decision-making orbitofrontal cortex to actually shrink”. In other words, once we take time to relax and take care of our stress in a positive way, the orbitofrontal cortex returns to its normal size. This is another reason why connection is so important – when we’re stressed, we tend to forget the importance of taking care of ourselves, and friends can help us remember to do that. For example, setting a weekly or daily routine of exercising with a friend, setting a goal and asking someone to help keep you accountable to it, meeting a friend for yoga, asking for help and expressing your gratitude when someone accepts, smiling at others, taking a walk outside with a coworker or just laughing can all help you increase positive connections and reduce your stress. If you are struggling to begin some of these steps or feel there are other things you need to address, consider calling a professional counselor. Counseling can help us quiet negative thoughts in our mind and face them bravely, by connecting and healing with a trusted professional. It might be scary, but it can also be the first step to reclaiming your life from stress. Instead of making decisions out of fear and doubt, you can work towards making decisions that truly define what you want and where you are going. Learning to find peace in the middle; experiencing healing, peace, and insight despite facing a stressful world. You may not be able to change the world, but you can start with caring for yourself. -Gillian If you would like help sifting through stress in your life, or would like more information on counseling in general, please call 512-501-2597. You may schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to ask questions, gain a better understanding of what counseling is like, and decide if it is the right step for you. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor located in New Braunfels, TX and offer individual counseling, couples counseling, group counseling, and workshops. TED talk by Kelly McGonigal: *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Beginning Again Posted on August 4, 2015May 18, 2018 by AspireNB “When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable. If we dismiss all the criticism, we lose out on important feedback, but if we subject ourselves to the hatefulness, our spirits get crushed. It’s a tightrope, shame resilience is the balance bar, and the safety net below is the one or two people in our lives who can help us reality-check the criticism and cynicism.” – Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW I am worthy. I am worthy of change, of hoping for more. I am worthy even though ______________ told me I wasn’t. What would it take for you to feel worthy? Empowered? Content with who you are, right now? It is easy to fall prey to anxiety or shame and let it dictate your life’s course. Maybe you think you are unworthy because you are “supposed” to be farther along in life, or because you have made mistakes in your past. Sometimes you feel unworthy because you suffered trauma, abuse, or just because you are not ______ enough, whatever that may be. If you notice yourself being overly critical, (using the words “always”, “never” or “should” can often be an indication of this) try to take a step back to rephrase. For example, instead of “I can never get it right!” saying: “This feels overwhelming right now, and I can’t do it all. What I can do is ________”. Another way to take care of yourself is to connect with others in a genuine way. Find someone to talk to who will want to learn about the ways you are unique instead of judging you for your differences. Start where you are, be kind to yourself, and work at your own pace. As the saying goes the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today. Instead of helping us “toughen up” and succeed, being critical of ourselves is often our biggest downfall. We gradually shut down, decreasing our ability to be creative, productive, and successful – to dull the very light within us that others may need to see. The very light that propels us to change and grow. Real life is full of maybes, grey areas and unanswered questions. If we can’t believe and trust in ourselves, it will be difficult to achieve our goals, connect with others, and feel content. We are here today to try again- and what a beautiful beginning. -Gillian If you are hoping to make a change in your life, or would just like more information on counseling in general, please call 512-501-2597. You may schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation to ask questions, gain a better understanding of what counseling is like, and decide if it is the right step for you. *** Gillian Amaro, LPC-S I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings. *** 392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130 www.aspireNB.com Facebook: @AspireNewBraunfels Gillian’s profile on Psychology Today Aspire NB on Facebook
Calming Ourselves in a Chaotic World Posted on June 24, 2015June 28, 2017 by AspireNB “When all our needs are fulfilled, the brain doesn’t need to focus on survival tasks and feels safe enough to open up to our natural presence and uncover happiness.” -Dr. Elisha Goldstein, PhD. Do you ever feel like you don’t have enough time? That you can never do enough or be “good enough”? Maybe you feel everyone is against you? Do you find yourself yelling at other drivers on the road, or losing patience with your closest friends and family members? Sometimes dealing with life’s everyday stressors can get the best of us, and leave us feeling like some of the examples above. It can happen to everyone – and when we are faced with a world that feels chaotic, we struggle more and more with how to understand and experience stress in a way that does not cause harm to ourselves, or our loved ones. The most tempting way to deal with our feelings is often to numb ourselves – with TV, food, constant distractions, or substances. Numbing can be helpful temporarily, but it’s best to learn to cope with these stressors in a way that will interrupt their negative cycle and create more lasting change in our life. According to Farb et.al’s study Minding one’s emotions: Mindfulness training alters the neural expression of sadness, mindfulness training (MT) has been shown to facilitate both recovery from emotional challenge and increased tolerance of negative affect. Here are a few ways to practice calming yourself: 1. Investigate what types of situations trigger negative emotions or behaviors for you, and why. 2. When you know a stressful time is approaching, make plans to connect with a friend or loved one who lifts you up or makes you laugh. 3. Write down short verses that encourage you to stop and create more awareness for yourself. In her book, Uncovering Happiness, Dr. Goldstein gives examples such as “Breathing in, I am here… Breathing out, I am alive” while taking steps inside, or “Breathing in, I notice the colors all around me… Breathing out, I smile” while outside. Another option is “Breathing in, I wash my hands…. Breathing out, gratitude for these hands”. 4. When you are recovering from stress or a triggering situation, take time to engage in meditation. Below are a few examples to get you started. Dr. Goldstein’s 10 minute body scan Sky Mind Meditation Dr. Goldstein’s Sky of Awareness Meditation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtsdz_jhB7c For more information regarding counseling services for stress management, anxiety, perfectionism, or other concerns, please see our contact information below. Thanks, Gillian Aspire New Braunfels PLLC 145 Landa Street, New Braunfels, TX 78130 512-501-2597