ACT Limit Setting

ACT limit setting is a positive discipline strategy developed by Dr. Garry Landreth, co-founder of Child Parent Relational Therapy. Setting limits with your children is hard, and many times I am asked what books & techniques I recommend. ACT limit setting is always my first recommendation, and can be used with BOTH toddlers and teens.

 

Here is a quick summary of the ACT limit setting formula:

1) Acknowledge the Feeling

• “You are feeling happy and having fun playing war…”

2) Communicate the Limit

• “but toys are not for throwing.”

3) Target the Alternative

• “You may move your toys fast or slide them on the floor”

That’s it!

Parenting is as much about setting limits as it is about having fun with your child. So, it only makes sense that connection must also happen when you need to discipline, or set limits for your child.  The ACT method truly is a quick, easy way to communicate limits- and connect with your child. It can even be used with teens. For example: “I know you feel angry and disappointed that you cannot go to the concert with your friends. I wish you could go alone, but it is too far to drive by yourself. If you still want to go, I can take you myself, or you can go with your dad.” Regardless of the limits or rules you need to set in your home, genuinely listening to & understanding your child’s feelings is critical for fostering a positive parent-child relationship. As a bonus, this positive relationship & connection makes it easier for your child to accept your rules & limits!

 

Keep connecting!

-Gillian

For a video on setting limits with young children, click here.

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Gillian Amaro, LPC-S

I believe that we, as individuals, can create joy, love, and purpose in our lives through authentic connection. I love empowering women, couples & teens to feel comfortable with who they are & gain insight about how they connect with others. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor and offer individual, family & couples sessions, as well as group therapy. My passion for counseling & healthy communication includes stepping out of the office to facilitate workshops and CEU trainings.

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392 W. Mill St. New Braunfels, TX 78130

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